Best Y&R Lines Monday 1/16/12

Y&R Best Lines Monday 1/16/12

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Cane: We're not hiring, Chelsea.

Chelsea: (Sighs) Well, then, it's a good thing I'm here as a customer this time.

Cane: Yeah? Have you heard of fetal alcohol syndrome?

Chelsea: I came for a burger.

Cane: Fine.

Chelsea: And a soda.

Cane: Yeah? Why don't you have some orange juice? It has folate. Maybe it'll, you know, help the baby out that way.

Chelsea: Oh, God. You people take babies way too seriously.

Phyllis: Yeah, um, I just hope for the sake of public welfare Sharon's engagement to your dad doesn't put you in some sort of, you know, rampage of destruction.

Adam: I'm at peace with recent events. I truly am. Now Nicholas, on the other hand-- boy, he really hung on to that dream that he was gonna be the hero in Sharon's fairy tale. And then "the dark knight" steps in and... he goes off the rails, quits his job, everything. I guess there's always the concession, though, that he won $500 million from his daddy in arbitration, and he could always use that money to build a shrine to the love of his life. It's not you, by the way.

(Cell phone rings)

Phyllis: Oh, um, pardon me. Love to talk more, but... hey, what's going on?

Ronan: I'm just keeping up my end of this arrangement. You want a story, come down to the station.

Phyllis: Uh, don't do anything until I get there, okay? I have to go, but enjoy your, um, bitter cup of misery.

Adam: (Sighs) oh. Don't look so enthusiastic to see me. You know, I've been thinking, you have any, uh, gifting ideas for our dad and our new stepmom?

Nick: How about a divorce?

Adam: (Chuckles) Yeah. Think they actually went through with this marriage by now?

Nick: I don't know, Adam.

Adam: What would you say the odds are that one of them actually comes to their senses?

Nick: What, and Sharon decides that she wants to be with you?

Adam: Well, I don't know what this is about for Sharon, I really don't, but it ain't about love.

Nick: Hey, do you spend every moment of your day trying to convince yourself that Sharon has some deep-seated, emotional love for you?

Adam: No, not every second. You know what I have been thinking a lot about lately, though, is the fact that you didn't fight for her or Newman enterprises, which makes me wonder-- what, if anything at all, do you have left in your life that matters to you?

Nick: Interesting that you are focusing on me. Good for you. See, I couldn't care less what you and dad do.

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