Y&R Best Lines Monday 9/26/11
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Kevin: (Sighs) What's up?
Michael: Oh, hey. I was hoping you'd be here.
Kevin: Yeah, I had to take care of some payroll and some other stuff, not that I can focus on anything.
Michael: I know. Keeping this secret is difficult for me. It must be agony for you.
Kevin: You have no idea, Mike. I'm in hell, and I've been put there by Victor Newman.
Michael: Shh. Listen to me. A child's health is at stake. You have to suck it up.
Kevin: (Sighs) it just feels wrong pretending that Billy is still missing, acting like I'm the donor. And Chloe... Chloe is all over me like a puppy dog, trying to jump on me and lick my face. (Sighs)
Michael: Well, how does Gloria feel knowing that her youngest is now Genoa city's newest hero?
Kevin: I don't know. She still won't return my calls.
Michael: Well, that's probably because her feelings are hurt because neither of us noticed that she was missing when she got locked in that wine cellar.
Kevin: I've been a little preoccupied.
Michael: All right, prepare yourself, because when she finds out you were a perfect match, she's gonna take it as a sign.
Kevin: A sign of what?
Michael: Oh, that you and Chloe are meant to be together.
Billy: Oh, does anybody ever knock? Oh, it's you.
Kevin: I can't take this anymore.
Billy: What can't you take, buddy?
Kevin: What? Chloe, that's what. She's looking at me like I'm some kind of God, and we both know that look is for you.
Billy: Could you possibly go whine anywhere else, please?
Kevin: This is your fault. It's your fault. If you weren't such a screw-up, I wouldn't have to be your-- your bone marrow front man.
Billy: Do you feel better right now? Do you feel better?
Kevin: Listen, Willy, unfortunately, I have nobody else that I can vent to.
Billy: Well, "Kevy," your brother knows all about it. You can go talk to him. Actually, you know where he lives. Why don't you just go there? Leave me alone.
Kevin: Because I can't talk to him about this, all right? He doesn't know about this.
Billy: About "this"? What about--ohh, Kevin. I get it now. You're still hooked on Chloe, right?
Kevin: (Scoffs) no. Maybe just--maybe a little bit.
Billy: Hey, look, man, if my bone marrow gets you some gratitude sex, then hey, brother, go for it.
Kevin: You're a son of a bitch. You think I would take advantage of Chloe when she's this vulnerable?
Billy: You're right. Um... watching the woman you love move on with somebody else... (sighs) really hurts. So if this is your big opportunity to win her back, then you are absolutely stupid not to take it.
Kevin: You know why I broke up with Chloe?
Kevin: Because she's only attracted to jerks like you. Only now that she thinks I'm her daughter's salvation, she's all over me.
Billy: (Laughs) man, sorry. It's--it's better you than me, pal. (Laughs) (snorts)
Kevin: Well, what does that mean?
Billy: (Sighs) well... (sighs) what does that mean? I-I guess I should tell you that I've already experienced the stalker side of Chloe. It's a little intense, and she doesn't take no for an answer, but you might like that.
Kevin: Wow, you're-- you're talking about a woman who hasn't left her kid's side since she found out Delia had leukemia.
Billy: I didn't say she wasn't a good mother. She's a good mother. (Clears throat) but that's not the topic, man. The topic is, do you want to get back into those little pants again? (Chuckles)
Kevin: Wow. Nice, Billy.
Billy: Why don't you beat it, buddy? Fisher, I am not your priest, and you certainly don't want me to be your conscience.
Kevin: You're too selfish to be my conscience.
Billy: Absolutely. So... why don't you leave? At least I own it.
Kevin: Hmm. I'll say. You come all this way, and now you're planning on leaving town without ever even seeing your wife. Dude.
Avery: (Sighs) Nick, I'm off the clock right now.
Nick: This is not about Sharon's case. (Sighs) I, uh... I caught the tail end of your conversation with Phyllis.
Avery: (Sighs) What kind of person behaves that way?
Nick: Someone who probably feels like she's cornered. But I'm not defending her behavior.
Avery: No, maybe I pushed her buttons.
Nick: I'm not even gonna ask what those buttons are, because, frankly, that's between the two of you. But when Phyllis gets this fired up, it's usually because she's fighting to protect something she loves.
Avery: Well, where that's concerned, my sister hasn't changed... except I used to think that I was one of the things she'd fight to protect.
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