Best Y&R Lines Tuesday 5/31/11

Best Lines of Y&R Tuesday 5/31/11--Canada; Wednesday 6/1/11--USA

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Deacon: An alcoholic walks into a bar and says, uh, "Make me a bartender." Ted Danson made it look so easy at that bar where everyone knows your name. Yeah, I-I don't know how the hell he did it, because for me, you know, trying to stay sober while y-you're slingin' drinks-- it's... it's just not that easy. I-I-I guess that's why I'm here. Um, I've been struggling a lot lately. It just feels good to say that. Um, I mean, I haven't taken a drink or anything. But, damn, I've been tempted.

Nikki: Bravo. Bravo! My God, people, we should be applauding this man. I mean, can you imagine what he just said? Being at work all day every day surrounded by bottles of booze. He serves glasses, glass by glass by glass to all of his customers, getting them bombed, but nothing passes his lips, not a drop. I mean, I think that's pretty commendable. I mean, that--that's worth a clap or two, don't you think?

Woman: Would you like to sit down?

Nikki: No, I would not. But I would... like to know if this... gentleman has stood here and shared the story about the wagon he was driving when I fell off. Actually, he pushed me off, to be more precise.

Deacon: Nikki, I don't think you need to talk about--

Nikki: Stop! I was sober for many years before this character slithered into my life. And you want to know how he did it? He spiked my drinks when I wasn't looking-- sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. He just gave me a little taste here, a little taste there, just enough to get the urge, so that I would have the craving for it. And it worked. Oh, boy howdy, did it work. It worked so well, I wanted to climb back into that bottle and ruin my life, and, yes, it did. But you... there are no words to say how proud I am of you. For you to be able to resist that--amazing. I am so proud of you.

Deacon: Nikki, please. Don't do this.

Nikki: Don't come near me. I have every right to be here. I am allowed to be here. My name is Nikki, and I'm a drunk. Uh, sorry, pardon me. I'm an alcoholic. And I am here to tell you poor, poor people what a waste of time this is. I mean, why would you come here to try to get sober? My god, it's ridiculous. I mean, drinking has been the only thing that has helped me get through these past days or weeks or months or whatever the hell it is. I don't even know. But I do know that I've come to these insipid meetings long enough to know that there is protocol we must follow, so in that event, I will take a seat and let somebody else talk. Come on. Who's next? Let's keep this meeting rolling, people. Here we go.

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