Best Y&R Lines Tuesday 8/7/07

Best Lines of Y&R Tuesday 8/7/07--Canada; Wednesday 8/8/07--USA

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[Gloria, all dolled-up for William’s memorial service, approaches Jack…  ]

Jack: Gloria. I didn't realize it was mustang ranch night.

Gloria: Actually, it's couture from Belgium. Six of them in the whole wide world, one of them owned by a queen.

Jack: As in, drag queen?

Gloria: As in, my husband loved me so much he made me a very wealthy woman.

Jack: What is it they say? "A pig in a dress is still a pig"?

Gloria: You know, I guess they didn't tell you, Jack, but I've reserved the entire club for William's wake.

Jack: No kidding. Your whole fan club will be here? Wait, is there more than just your slimy progeny?

Gloria: You bet. There's a whole list of very important people, but unfortunately, you're not on that list, Jack, so it's time for you to vacate the premises.

Jack: Oh, I'll leave when I'm good and ready. You just tend to your business, which I  guess is putting on this garish display of your alleged love for yet another wealthy man  you conned into marrying you for a nanosecond. I'll tend to my affairs. 

[Amber seeks employment by Neil… ]

Amber: I won't take much of your time, Mr. Winters.

Neil: Good.

Amber: I'm sure you're aware of certain developments that have left me in a financial predicament.

Neil: You, Daniel and Kevin stole over $700,000. That's a lot of money.

Amber: No, we did not steal it.

Neil: Right, you found it. On a dead man. Unless, of course, you found it on a live man  and you turned him into a dead man.

Amber: No, no, okay, I wouldn't-- I admit that I am in some trouble. And I need a second  job, so I was hoping that maybe you would let me come and sing at your club.

Neil: No.

Amber: Well, remember when I filled in before? Everyone loved it.

Neil: You could be Billie holiday and Beyoncé rolled into one and I still wouldn't hire  you. You're bad for my business and you're bad for my family.

Amber: It was a reach, I know.

Neil: It was a hail Mary.

[Paul notices Maggie’s unusual attire…]

Maggie: You know what just occurred to me?

Paul: Mmm?

Maggie: The, uh... second DNA test? The culprit might be right here.

Paul: I'll have to keep my eyes open for anything unusual.

Maggie: Right.

Paul: Like you in a dress.

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