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Passions Article

Shirley's Opinions

By Shirley

12/19/05 - 12/23/05

Christmas week in Harmony, and it remained pretty interesting, all things considered.  Yes, Norma Claus was back, but she brought the ditzy Elf Edna with her, and it gave the old Schtick a whole new (and funnier) twist.  And of course, our little Endora added some sparkle to the same old stuff, which always makes the Holidays brighter.

 Theresa, Noah, and Fancy were found at the Crane cabin, and they were carted off to jail, as Ethan was dragged back to the hospital to spend his "last days" under Gwen's - ummmm - loving care.  Now, I'm not going to make a big deal out of the fact the FBI were with Gwen, or that they went into the cabin with guns blazing (or at least waving around empirically), which is against all rules of engagement for law enforcement agents unless the perps are armed.  No, I'm just going to swallow my disbelief at the writer's complete lack of knowledge on the subject and realize it's the Passions writing staff, never one for sticking to "just the facts, ma'am."  Ok, no I won't.  It was the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time.  There.  That's better. 

Anyway, the three Liberators were languishing in jail, while Gwen re-installed Ethan at the hospital and continued to whine about not wanting to kill him, but...  Even Eve got into the act this time, telling Gwen to take her time, there's no rush, she can kill him at any time.  Thankfully the Gwench listened to her and decided to wait until after Christmas to do it so Jane wouldn't always hate Christmas.  Ok.  Whatever, as long as he got to live, right?

 Alistair arrived at the jail, with his vulgar remarks and leers at Theresa, but he had bailed her out, so that was a good thing.  Fancy and Noah, however, were left to rot, or would have been had Fancy not used her Spoiled Little Girl ways to get him to buy her freedom, too.  Nothing worked for Noah, however, since the old goat wasn't about to do anything nice for him.  Sam came to visit him for Christmas, but was unable to help get him out because of his monetary circumstances, thanks to Alistair.  So, Noah was faced with the prospect of spending his Christmas alone in jail, and dealt with it.

 Never worry, however.  Fancy was working on a way to get him out, although I'm not sure how taping her grandfather into threatening to fire a store clerk if she didn't let Fancy have what she wanted was supposed to help.  I missed Friday's show (my brother came in for Christmas and whisked me away on a day of fun - whoopee!!), so I don't know if they dealt with that then, but I don't think so.  But, anyway, Fancy bribed her way into getting a special room set up and having the guard take Noah to that room.  She decorated it in Christmas theme, and they had a romantic evening alone.  Awwwww.  But really, it was sweet of her. Wow, is that a strange thing to say!

 Theresa, of course, headed straight to the hospital, hoping Ethan wasn't dead yet, and when she found him alive, she was very relieved.  But, when Gwen came back and caught her, the fight was on.  Once again, the "saintly" Gwen went in for the kill, beating her around the room and choking the life out of her, or trying to.  Eve, Martin, and Pilar happened in just in time to break them up, and her parents dragged Theresa out of the room and to the church to pray.  

 Sheridan and Chris continued their speedy trek to the bed, even on Christmas and even as she wished a miracle would bring Luis back.  I've made my feelings clear on this subject and won't go into it again, but this has to be the most disgusting storyline on soaps at the moment.

 Tabitha is so afraid of what Norma and Edna might do to her and her darling Endora that she decides to make the ultimate sacrifice and get out of town, alone.  She leaves her baby in Kay's care, then hurries away, intent on getting as far away from Harmony as possible.  Kay and Fox take the two babies to the tree lighting ceremony, along with Sam and Ivy and Sheridan, Chris, and James.  Endora and James aren't that thrilled with the lights, so Endora decides to jazz it up a bit.  The tree starts spinning, causing those watching to ooh and aaah, while wondering how it was done.  

When that got boring for the kids, Endora zapped candy canes falling from the sky, and everyone was equally amazed and confused.  But, they all enjoyed it, and it did add some needed pizzazz to the staid old ceremony.  Tabby, on her way out of town, decided she couldn't leave her baby and headed back in time to see what the child was doing, and she begged and pleaded with her to stop doing it.  She was afraid that people would figure out they are witches and burn them at the stake, but as it turned out, the Harmony crowd is still a clueless as ever.

 Norma and Edna arrived at Tabby's house and were upset that she wasn't there, but they decided to wait for her to return, drinking up her liquor supply as they did so.  They switched on the TV just in time to see all the commotion at the park and realized it could only be Tabby, so off they went to find and chop her up.  About that time, Tabby realized the cameras were on them, and the two loonies could probably see where she is, so she decided to leave again.  As she ran out of the park, she ran right into the two loonies coming to find her, and it looked like the old witch was going to have a Choppy Christmas after all.

 Honestly, I really am liking this resurrection of Norma Claus.  True, it still has the bad puns and all, and I could really do without Daddy, but somehow, adding Elf Edna to the mix really makes it funnier and easier to handle.  And, it's fun to watch, too.  But, just when it looked like Tabby was done for, here came Endora to the rescue, riding a candy cane and zapping the two loonies to a fraction of their normal size.  She had run away from Fox and Kay as they arrived at the church for Mass, sensing her mother was in trouble, I guess. 

After she shrank the women, she imprisoned them in one of the Christmas Tree ornaments, and they called for help in tiny little voices.  Fox and Kay, who had been looking frantically for her, came upon them and Fox kept hearing the tiny voices.  He wondered what they were, but Tabby and Kay gave him a good excuse, and when the church bells started ringing, they ran to Mass, leaving Norma and Edna inside the ornament.

 At the church, Theresa prayed for Ethan again, promising to stay away and let him live happily with Gwen if God would only let him live.  Now, none of us really believe that, do we?  Of course not, but it sounded good, and apparently it worked, too.  As Father Lonigan started the service, the front door opened and closed, and as everyone turned to see who was coming in late, they all saw Ethan, alive and well, sitting in a wheelchair.  One Christmas miracle down, one more to go, if the spoilers were correct.

 As for the other happenings, Jessica made it to the church in time to thrill her father, Pilar and Martin settled their differences with Katherine as they all realized Martin belongs with Pilar and Katherine is fine with that, and Whitney, Simone, and Eve were together again, too.  Whitney met up with Chad and Miles, and she's glad to see them, so maybe the Mother Superior was right about her needing to make sure being a cloistered nun is right for her.  

 All in all, it seems like a great Christmas for Harmony so far.  My wish for all of you is that your Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever other holiday you celebrate this time of year will be happy and blessed.

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