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Passions Article

Shirley's Opinions

By Shirley

10/31/05 - 11/4/05

So, has Theresa learned her lesson this time?  A show of hands, folks.  How many think that killing, or almost killing, her one true love while trying to whack her crinkley old husband will be the screw-up that ends all her screw-ups?  Hmmmmm, only three of you, huh?  So, what is it?  Have the three of you just not been watching the show on a regular basis?

Look.  Theresa screws up.  That's what she does.  She doesn't want to, she certainly never means to hurt anyone, (well, except for Alistair, of course) and she always thinks whatever it is she's doing is the only solution to whatever problem she's having, but the fact is, she is constantly screwing up.  As the other characters are so often telling her, she is her own worst enemy.  And I just don't see that ending any time soon, if ever.  She wouldn't be Theresa if she stopped, and to tell the truth, the show wouldn't be as exciting.  I mean, there is very little excitement on the show as it is, and the most we get is wondering what stupid thing this girl is going to try to pull off this time.

See, you and I would stop and think before we tried to kill our husband with poisoned guacamole, but not her.  We'd realize that we want him to eat the stuff, not anyone else, so we'd need to put the stuff where only he had access to it, and where we could get rid of the stuff quickly once he keeled over.  We are able to think ahead and work out all the kinks before we ever start on something like that, but Theresa - she simply can't think that far ahead.  Her thought process goes like this:  "I hate Alistair, he is rude and cruel and he hurts me all the time.  He has me over a barrel and there's no way out for me and my son, so the only thing I can do is kill him.  So I'll take some of the pills Eve gave me and put them in his favorite guacamole, and he'll eat it all up and die.  Let's get that going right now."

See, not a thought about the fact that other people live in the mansion, including her own kids, and by having the stuff set up in a common area anyone could get to it.  It never crossed her mind.  And when she decided to leave the room, with Al following her, she didn't even give a thought to the fact the bowl of poison guacamole was still sitting right there on the table, with chips beside it, and anyone could eat it and die.  So thinking that having her true love eat the stuff and he's now hanging between life and death, and even if he lives he may never wake up again, is not going to get through to her at all.  It won't connect to the rest of it in any way, so no, she won't change a thing because of what happened.  And that's the worst thing about her.

She's a good person at heart, she really is.  She never sets out to deliberately hurt anyone, at least not without provocation, and she would do anything for anyone who needed help.  She simply cannot think ahead and take all the variables into consideration when she does do something.  She's a tragedy waiting to happen, every day that she's alive.

Now, contrast that to Jessica.  Here's another kid who is a good girl at heart, really.  She's had a bad thing happen in her life, and that is that her mother up and left them to fend for themselves, and she just can't handle that.  Now she seems totally unable to think in any sensible way at all.  She's just too stupid to be believed.  She sees her Dad, brother, and sister as the enemy, and now her best friend, too, yet when it comes to the creep who's using her, getting her hooked on drugs and pimping her out for money, she thinks he's her knight in shining armor, the only person on earth who really loves her and wants her for herself.  How stupid can she be?

Of course, there's Fancy, who has no idea in this world what real life is all about, but that's a whole other category.  She is just deliberately stupid, since she's never cared to acquaint herself to people of the "lower class" so she'd know what normal people do in their every day lives.  Why Noah still wants her is beyond me.  She's cute, yes, but she's not all that, and anyway, beauty's only skin deep, while ugly goes all the way to the bone.  And she is ugly where it counts, believe me.

Then there's Sheridan.  In one day she goes from throwing herself on the coffin that holds her "one true love of her life", to attending his funeral with a man she just met a few days ago, to begging him to let her go into the witness protection program with him and never seeing anyone she's ever known before ever again in her life because she simply can't stand the thought of living without him and his son.  Now, how does that happen?  Does this woman really have a heart, can she really love anyone but herself, and if so, what happened to the normal human characteristic of mourning one love for a while before finding another?  It's mind boggling to think about, that's all I know.

The rest of the town is pretty much the same as always.  Kay and Fox are getting along fine, thanks to Endora counteracting her mother's spell that was supposed to make Fox fall out of love with Kay in exchange for succeeding at business.  But that's making Ivy crazy, because she hates Kay.  She can't let anyone but Kay know this, tho, or Kay's dad, Ivy's long lost love, will find out what she's really like and dump her.  Kay doesn't seem too worried about her, since she has the goods on her for some stuff she's done, so hopefully the two young lovers will make it just fine.  Sam is happy to see them in love, although he is worrying about Jessica, his daughter who is now a drugged out prostitute, and sad that his son Noah can't get Fancy to think like a person instead of a rich witch.

Rebecca and Gwen are happy that Theresa and Eve are probably going to be blamed and jailed for Ethan's poisoning,  and Rebecca just can't help gloating about it all.  Julian is worried about it all, but can't come up with a way to stop his evil wife from ruining his life as well as Eve and Theresa's.  However, if the two Hotchkiss Witches keep talking shop in front of the comatose Ethan, they might just be burying themselves, which I would love.  You see, it's a well-known fact that comatose people often are aware of everything that's going on around them, tho they can't move, talk, or let others know they are aware.  So any more talk by them about setting Theresa and Eve up, or giving the news to the tabloid, or any of the myriad schemes and dirty tricks they've played on Theresa and others over the years, the better it is for us, since once Ethan wakes up and is able to talk he just may tell them what he thinks about them now that he knows the truth.  I can't wait for that to happen, and I pray it does.

I have only one more thing to say about this week, which all-in-all wasn't that bad, and that is this:  I feel so bad for Simone after the way her father treated her on learning she's a lesbian.  He was horrible to her, and said some of the most ugly things I've ever heard a parent say to their own child.  I haven't really liked the man since the show started, but I never really thought he could be so mean to his own child, and it just makes me hate his guts.  Childish, maybe, but true.  The sight of the man sickens me, and I wish he were the one that ate the Killer Guacamole, and that it would have done it's job on him.  He really needs to go.  But, hooray for Paloma, who took it in stride and even joked about it to lighten her friend's spirits.  Good for her!  But, on a lighter note, I'm wondering how long it will be before Rebecca finds out about her and hits on her.  Now, that could be really fun.

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