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Passions Article


Shirley's Opinions

By Shirley

10/24/05 - 10/28/05

Funerals, murder plots, secrets revealed, mystery begun, breakups, life threatening situations.....what a week, eh?  As Passions weeks go, this one was pretty good, at least as far as interesting stories goes.  The way those stories played out weren't what I would have liked them to be in some cases, but it was still good enough to keep me interested in tuning in the next day to see what would happen, so all in all, I'd have to give it at least a C+, and that's good for this show.

Luis' funeral was played out, with all the necessary bells and whistles.  Everyone showed up except for TC and Fox, although the latter did manage to sneak in at some point.  It seemed to have happened in the split second after Chris decked Alistair, because once the old lizard hit the floor after careening off Luis' coffin, there he was, mouth open in shock, right beside Kay.  Man that guy can move fast, can't he?   Good looking, really great guy, and super powers - now, what more could a girl ask for?

As you can see from the above paragraph, the funeral didn't go as planned, much like everything else that goes on in Harmony.  All was well until Alistair and Fancy showed up, and then he just had to keep opening his mouth, making crude and rude remarks about all of them,  and turning the sad occasion into a three ring circus.  Well, I guess that's what he's best at, tho, isn't it?  

Well, this time he was just really unbearable, especially for Sheridan.  She's trying to concentrate on mourning Luis for once, with Chris at her side, of course, and Al's mouthing off just deterred attention from her too much.  She got all eyes on her by yelling at him when he first walked in, but once Ethan started his video tribute to Luis and Al kept answering all his remarks, Sher figured she had to do something before she totally lost all attention, so she jumped up and yelled at him some more.  He got angry and slapped her, and that caused Chris to haul off and slug him, which is where we started this column.

What is it with the Lopez-Fitzgerald family that they never get to grieve the loss of their loved ones or celebrate a marriage or anything happy?  It never fails.  Something always goes wrong with anything they try to do that way, and this was no exception.  The have their dead son lying in his coffin in their living room while friends and family grieve his loss, and in comes Alistair, causing trouble and talking about their daughter in the crassest terms, even threatening to have sex with her right there on top of her dead brother's coffin.  Unbelievable!

Now he ruined the funeral, too, causing it to end early.  And what's more, instead of allowing his wife to attend the gathering and luncheon at her parent's house, he demands she go home, again, to service him.  What a lowlife.  Not even having the beejeebers knocked out of him makes him calm down and act decently.  He simply enjoys torturing these people.  Well, Theresa's had more than enough and is determined to put him in his grave so she can visit it every week to spit on it.  Can anyone blame her?

Now, I have to ask here, just how stupid is Fancy?  Does she have to be hit over the head with a wrecking ball in order to be able to see her Grampy isn't the nice old guy with money flowing from every orifice that she thinks he is?  OK, the money's still there, but there's nothing nice about this monster.  Yet, even when it's right in front of her face, she can't seem to see it, or she just doesn't give a darn, either.  Every once in a while she seems to get it, to really be a human underneath all that snobbery, but it only lasts a second or two, then she's right back to the stupid, greedy bimbo she really is.

She saw how Al was acting at the funeral, and anyone with a brain could see he was so far out of line it was ridiculous, yet she couldn't understand why everyone was so mean to her Grampy?  What on earth?  I just don't get her at all, and I like her even less.  She needs to go, and soon, because she's been on the show for several months now and has shown no real redeeming qualities at all.  One Alistair Crane is more than enough, thank you.  At least Noah seems to have finally seen the light.  But, for how long?  We all know the writers want them together for some unknown reason, so I'm sure they will get together again before long.  For now, tho, he's seen just how rotten and uncaring she is, and he's dumped her yet again.  

Poor Kay is beginning to pay for the spell she begged Tabitha to put on Fox.  Well, she was warned, and love or not, she should have taken the hint and left well enough alone.  I mean, if she loves him she should trust his ability to succeed on his own, don't you think?  I do.  OK, so he doesn't get the big job at Crane, big deal.  He is skilled enough to make it anywhere, so he only needs to move and find something else.  Her lack of faith in him is really a sad thing.  Anyway, now he's become cold and even rude to her at times, and she's not liking it one bit.  She does enjoy the times when he seems to be his old self, but those times are now few and far between.  Let's hope Endora can turn things around somehow.

Tabitha really had a time of it this week, too.  I have to say, it was good to get back to some of the old Passions bits.  I love her battles with the good side, and I thought the fight with the statue was well done.  Very funny.  I knew something like that would happen when the showed the front of the church as the funeral scenes began.  That statue simply didn't belong there, and it just looked too fake.  Once I saw Tabby was going to the funeral, I knew what was coming.  Thankfully, it worked out pretty well, tho.

She had no intention of going inside the church, of course, and was setting up outside, with baby Endora watching, so she could see and hear what went on inside.  The statue thought she was going to try to get inside and made moves to bar her, but she told him she had no plans to do that.  However, she was in the mood for a good tussle, so she challenged him, and the fight was on.  She got Endora to zap her some extra power, but it did no good, so they ended up in hand-to-hand combat, and it was a funny scene.  The two of them wrestling around the grounds of the church with Endora watching from her stroller....too funny.  

Tabby, realizing she was running out of steam, begged Endora to help her, but the baby was having too much fun watching the fight and wanted it to continue.  I thought I'd bust a gut.  Then, when the bells rang signaling the end of the service, Tabby begged even harder for help before everyone came out and saw what was going on.  Endora reluctantly did as asked, just in time, but when Pilar stepped out of the church she found Tabby still on the ground.  It was passed off as her having fallen, but it was still funny.  Pilar was just glad she'd shown up, even if she hadn't made it inside, and invited her to the luncheon, which the old witch gladly accepted.  The look on Pilar's face once she did was priceless.  "Buyer's Remorse"?  LOL!

Gwen learned of Theresa's plan to kill Alistair and told her mother before going to tell the police.  Rebecca, however, stopped her daughter, telling her to let Theresa do what she wanted, because that way she would go to jail for life and they would be rid of her.  Besides, she said, once Alistair is gone, Julian takes over, and they'd be set for life.  Gwen, seeing the benefits of inaction, agreed.  Rebecca decided to keep a sharp eye out for whatever Theresa was going to do to end the old lizard's life.

Back at the mansion, Theresa talked Alistair into having a snack before heading up to the new teddy and whip he had waiting for her up in the bedroom, and when the cook brought guacamole and chips, she took the first opportunity to load the dip with the pills Eve had given her.  Rebecca was watching, of course, and thrilled with the opportunity to be the witness who put the lock to the cell door Theresa would be locked behind for life.  Unfortunately for both of them, Al got a phone call and never got to eat the poisoned dip.

Ethan came in to the library, looking for a book, and tried to talk Theresa into leaving the old goat.  He just doesn't seem to understand that if she does that she loses her son, and she can't stand that after already losing her daughter to his batty (and evil) wife.  He also tells her if she hadn't done all the dumb things she did they would be married now, raising their own kids and very happy.  Nothing like dangling more meat in the face of a hungry tiger, right?  Anyway, once Al gets back from his call, he starts grabbing and trying to kiss Theresa in front of Ethan, which sickens him.  She slaps the old man's face, and Ethan tells him to leave her alone, but when Al talks back, Ethan tries to attack him.  Seeing he is heading for trouble, she decides to head upstairs as Alistair had ordered her to, and the old man follows.

Left alone, Ethan gets on the phone to a battered woman's shelter to try to get help for Theresa, still thinking he can get her to leave instead of killing the old lizard.  However, hunger overtakes him, and as he's talking on the phone he starts chowing down on the poisoned guacamole and chips still sitting on the coffee table.  Theresa decides to go get the dip and serve it to Al upstairs, before he can jump her bones, but finds Ethan lying on the floor, coughing and in obvious pain.  She begins trying to help him as Alistair watches, grinning his evil grin.  Give the girl an "A" for Effort, but hopefully this will cure her of trying to do the evil Son of Devil Dogette in, at least by poison.  If she's going to do it, just shoot or stab him and claim self defense.  There are enough witnesses to his torture of her to get her off any charges.

Hooray!  Eve finally told TC that she has chosen Julian.  It's about time, I'd say.  He took it fairly well, even saying he's going to be just fine without her.  However, once he began snooping around her office he got another surprise he didn't take so well.  Eve had found a gay/lesbian website with a chat room and began a post to find out how to help Simone.  When he walked in, she closed it up, but when she was called out, he decided to check his e-mail and found what she'd been looking at.  Well, needless to say he hit the roof, thinking it was Whitney, but once she told him it was Simone, he went ballistic.  He simply won't allow his daughter to be a lesbian.  Now, he makes some remarks about lesbians I found offensive, and I think that was the point of having him say them, but I really could have done without it.  And, of course, he blamed it all on Eve, as if she had something to do with it.  She tried to explain the facts to him, but he refused to listen, simply rushing out to find his baby girl.

He ends up at Sam's.  Now, earlier, Sam had come home and found Jessica in her bed, which surprised him.  She swore she'd been there for hours, when, in reality, she had been with Spike.  He had set her up with another john, and, drugged up to the gills, she awoke to find the man dead and a bloody knife on the floor.  She called Simone, who came and rescued her again, and they'd just gotten home a few minutes before Sam.  Simone hid while he talked to his daughter and he didn't know she was there, so later, after he went downstairs and realized his daughter had just been lying to him, TC showed up.  Sam said Simone wasn't there but he could go up and ask if Jess had seen her.  Of course, as he came to the door he heard Simone and Jessica, hugging as Jess thanked her for her help, saying that they each loved the other.  He slammed into the room and told Simone to get her hands off her friend.

Now, I don't know about you, but this was nothing I didn't expect from him, but still it bothers me.  Number one, he refuses to accept his daughter is not a freak, is not delusional, and is, truly, a lesbian.  And secondly, he assumes, because of what he sees and hears, that his daughter is putting the moves on Jessica.  What a moron!  Now, I like the fact Simone is a lesbian because it is a subject too many people, just like TC, don't really understand, and as long as it shows gays and lesbians are just people like us who simply want to live their lives like the rest of us, it will be great.  However, if they turn this into a referendum on "How To Cure Homosexuality", it will be the greatest disservice this show has ever done to any group of people.  I truly hope it doesn't go that way.

As for the dead johns Jessica is leaving in her wake, we know Spike killed the first one, yet made her think she'd done it, and I think he's the one who's killing all the others, too.  I don't think for a minute that Jessica could or would kill anyone deliberately, drugged or not.  I believe it's either his way of forcing her to keep working for him, or he's doing it at Alistair's bidding.  Either way,  it has to be him, not her, that's doing it.  I sure hope Sam and Noah can figure it out before she has to pay for it.  

But you know what really angers me about the john being killed?  The spoiler NBC put out saying "A murder is committed!" after all the hoopla about Theresa killing Alistair.  We all believed that was what they were talking about, and that's exactly what they wanted us to believe.  Now, I knew it couldn't mean what it said, but I figured it would turn out that Alistair didn't really die.  My fault, totally, for falling for their stupid trick again, but I really wish they'd stop pulling these stupid jokes on us.  They really can't seem to stop treating us like fools, showing their total disrespect for us, can they?  And yet we just keep falling for it all the time, don't we?  We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Oh, well, the week still turned out to be an OK one, at least in my opinion.  There was enough excitement, enough humor, and enough mystery to keep us interested, and I consider that a good week.  Add the new Passions Red woman, and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants and you've got a show that keeps you wanting to watch.  Now, I still think the woman is either Rachel, who's really NOT dead after all, or the new and improved Edna, who's angry that just as she and Bethie begin enjoying the fruits of her being a Crane, Alistair disinherits everyone, leaving everything in Little Ethan's hands.  I don't know, it's too early to tell, I guess, but I have to say, if it turns out to be Rachel, and everyone believes it has to be her, I'm going to be upset.  Upset with them for another non-secret storyline, and at myself for falling for it yet again.  But, I will keep watching, especially if the stories continue to be as interesting as they are now.  I hope you do, too, or that you will at least check in here every week to see what we think about what's going on with the show.

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