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Shirley's Opinion #89

By Shirley

12/13 - 12/17/04

Deep breathing really is a great way to deal with stress, isn't it?  I know it certainly helped me after yesterday's show.  I was stressing so badly when it was over I nearly chewed my fingernails off.  Anyway, I decided that would never do so I fell back on what I had learned several years ago about deep breathing and imaging.  You know, you breathe deeply and evenly, relax yourself from head to toe (or the other way, if you'd rather), then imagine yourself in your favorite place.  It's a form of self-hypnosis, actually, but it really does work to calm the nerves.  Anyway, now that I am in my happy place, I figure I can write this without getting too upset.

I swear, Ethan really needs to grow some....well, male accouterments.  Now, I know I've said this many, many times before, but he really is the biggest wuss I have ever seen on a daytime soap.  Really.  I  mean, he simply refused to stand up and take his lumps for what had happened, and once again he allowed Gwen, Rebecca and Ivy to do and say whatever they wanted to Theresa and he did nothing.  Why on earth does she still want that wimp?  Good heavens, if he is her idea of the perfect man, she really needs some major help, don't you think?  I have to say, I really enjoyed the slaps from Gwen, but still, she won't kick the fool to the curb.  What is it with this guy, anyway?  I'd sure like to know what kind of cologne he uses, because that's the only reason I can think of for these two intelligent women to be so gaa-gaa over him that they allow him to do anything he wants and still they hang on to him.  I tell you, it's a mystery, that's for sure.  Now, don't get me wrong, I still think Theresa was wrong for doing what she did, but when you think about it, she had her back against the wall and it was the only thing she could come up with to get her son back.  She had tried the legal way, to no avail, since Rebecca had the judge in her....back pocket, so there wasn't anything else she could do.  But planning to keep the child no matter what was a wrong idea.  True, after she got Ethan to impregnate her, she thought the resulting baby was hers, but she really should have put that thought out of her mind and just stuck to her original plan.  She should have never started thinking of the baby as being hers.  Now, I don't know about the rest of you but I am as sure as a person can be that the baby will turn out to be Gwen's anyway and Theresa will still end up with nothing.  I mean, how could it not be that way?  And even if the DNA test shows the baby is Theresa's, Rebecca and Ivy will make sure the results are changed to make it look like Gwen is the real mother, so Theresa will have gone through all of this for nothing.  All this could have been avoided, though, had Ethan simply stood up way back when and told Gwen he would support the baby and all but he was still marrying the woman he loves, but no, Wimp Boy had to make a bigger mess of everything by "doing what's right."  Now, how was his marrying Gwen the right thing under any circumstances?  No, the trail of human litter that is lying all over the place behind him shows it certainly was not the right choice, but he is still standing by it.  And worse than that, these two women are allowing him to do this to them.  I am hoping against hope that I am wrong and the baby really is Theresa's because it would serve Rebecca and Gwen right, but also it would make for some really interesting story lines, but as I said before, in my heart of hearts I know it won't work out that way and we will continue to suffer from Gwen's ego-driven selfishness and vindictiveness, Rebecca's racist, raunchy, elitist evil doing, Theresa's childish, unthinking machinations, and Ethan's wimpy, wussy, never-ending flip-flopping on who he really, really, loves and wants to be with.  UGH!!!

OK, now to Beth.  What is it with this woman and all these looney men?  I mean, all she has to do is walk into a room and some dork is going to go crazy for her.  Poor Rick, the pharmacist, was her latest admirer, and he certainly paid the price.  The actor playing Rick is so good at playing that kind of part that he makes it funny without saying a word, but he was so good yesterday that I really enjoyed that part of the show.  But, back to Beth, could that woman eat any more men on her quest to snare Luis?  She is a femme fatale, yet the only man she can think to go for is Luis?  Come on, he's unemployed, has no hope of becoming employed anytime soon, and he's homeless, so what's the attraction?  OK, OK, yeah, I know, and I drool as much as anyone else, but in real life a woman Beth's age is going to be paying attention to catching a man who can take care of her, not one she will have to support.  I mean, she already has her kidnapped son, her wacky mother, and an orangutan to take care of, so why would she want to add another person to that list?  She needs to go for someone who can help her out, not make her life harder.  Now, if you ask me, I would go for Alistair if I were her.  True, he's an evil old man, but....she's not so innocent herself.  They work well together, and she'd be set for life.  Heck, she could buy and old folks home to keep her mom in if she were Mrs. Alistair Crane, right?  I really found the scenes with her and Alistair after she had given him the medicine she stole from Rick hilarious!  Leave it to her to get something that would make the old lech even more so.  But I have to admit, her scenes yesterday were pretty much the best of the day.  I did like the Gwen/Theresa battle, but nothing topped Bethie yesterday.

So...what was with the statue on Thursday?  I mean, did it come alive and grab Marty from Beth or not?  Whatever, maybe it is a hint that right will triumph before too long.  We can always hope, I guess.  I really think all the things going on now with Marty and Edna can only mean he will soon be back with his real mother.  I sure hope so, anyway.  There are those of us who are making predictions on how old the boy will be before the truth comes out, and so far the leaders are after he graduates from high school, when he runs for Congress,  and around the time his first grandchild is born.  Any of these is plausible, given the way the writers drag things out, but I am still hoping he will be back with his real mother soon.  At least Edna is doing everything she can, short of telling the truth.  I am still confused about why she doesn't just tell what she knows now that Alistair is out of commission.  I mean, if Beth is in jail or the looney bin she won't be able to hurt her mother, and if she tells Sheridan the truth, I'm sure Sheridan would make sure nothing happened to her.  I guess that probably makes too much sense, though.  This is still Harmony, after all.

So, is Whitney really going to try to keep Chad for herself, as Eve was predicting?  I mean, I know it would be hard to stop loving someone, but then, she really didn't love him that much for a while before they found out the truth, right?  She was pining away for Fox, even though she was still with Chad so she couldn't have been that smitten by then.  I don't know, it just doesn't make sense to me, that's all.  But then her father is carrying on with that lizard Liz, so anything is possible.  I still don't understand how he can not realize what she was doing, especially since she told them what she was up to when she first got to town.  She said she was there to exact revenge on her evil sister, right?  That's what I remember, anyway, so now, when Eve tells him she has been plotting to come between them all along and he knows the evil sister is Eve, how can he not put two and two together?  I guess it is true, like father, like daughter.  Not half a brain between them, at least when it comes to the opposite sex.  But, it does make for some interest, doesn't it?  It keeps us guessing, and that's a good thing.

Katherine and Martin are still in Harmony.  Oh, did I sound depressed right then?  Sorry.  I am just so tired of those two.  All they ever do is tell each other they are good people, that they did what they had to do, that their families will forgive once they understand, or will never understand and are bound to hate them forever, and that they had no choice, none at all.  It's all a bunch of hogwash, but they keep saying it as if they really believe it.  Now, here's a clue:  Alistair is going to out Katherine, so what is the reason they don't just come clean themselves?  They claimed they couldn't because he would harm their families, but if he's going to do it himself, or if he is going to die, why not just tell it all?  I tell you, it makes no sense whatsoever, and I am tired of them saying they are going to tell, then backing out again and again.  Please, either let them leave for good, let Alistair have them killed and get it over with, or let them tell the truth and face the consequences.  Either way it will be new ground and this unbearably self-serving blather will end.  The two of them are adulterers, plain and simple, and they are too wrapped up in each other to care, really, so admit it and get on with your sleazy life already.  By the way, did anyone see the bit about Alistair once being a loving man, only changing after his one true love died before they could marry, coming?  I mean, I thought he had been evil since birth, or there about, so this is all news to me.  I mean, he actually had a heart at one point?  This could be interesting, especially if he wakes up from his coma and goes back to being the nice guy. Naahhh, it will never happen.

They finally declared Antonio dead, so it's about time he showed back up, don't you think?  Or maybe it would be more exciting if he waits until the wedding, or shortly thereafter. Oh, come on, you didn't really think he'd stay dead, did you?  And let Luis and Sheridan live happily ever after?  Heck no, they can't allow that, so get ready for the return of Antonio.  I know it's coming, it simply has to be that way, so I'm not even going to pretend it won't.  He'll come back, they'll find out the either can't get married after all or their marriage isn't legal, one or the other.  OK, now I know I'm heading into the dark side again, so I'd better hang this up and start breathing deeply again.  I will get my chi back in balance again, just in time for Monday's show to start my descent into imbalance again, but as long as there's breath, there's hope, right?  In two three....out two three.  In two three....out two three.  OK, see you next week.

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