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Passions Article

Shirley's Opinion #13

By Shirley

4/14 -4/18/03

What can I say about this week on Passions? "From the sublime to the ridiculous"? I'm not sure about that one. I guess you could say that any week with a heaping dose of both Hank and Luis is sublime. Ok, then, that is what I will say. Yes, I know it is a stretch, but hey, we take what we can get. Hank was very prominent this week. He is now going to the Police Academy, on his way to becoming a policeman. Is anyone really surprised about that? I figure Antonio and Miguel can't be too far behind. Anyway, he was out and about pretty much every day this week, handing out advice to the lovelorn, the love lost, and the mentally deficient. He visited a shop and was told by the clerk of Charlie's strange behavior with the Blondie dolls she had bought, then went and found her doing more strange things to the dolls on the dock. He was very understanding, giving Charlie some good advice. What a great guy. Luis started the week getting the news from Mrs. Wallace that Beth is trying to kill Sheridan. Did super cop put two and two together and figure out Beth might be responsible for the attacks on Sheridan? Of course not!!! He wonders about the monkey taking care of Mrs. W., but swallows the explanation hook, line, and sinker, along with Beth's explanation that her mother is losing her mind and that's why she said what she did to him. Then Hank gets there and falls for the same line. I don't know about you, but I am eternally grateful I don't live in Harmony where my well-being is guarded by police of that kind.

We saw Tabitha scooting about town delivering goodies to everyone to cause more pain and suffering. Rebecca saw her too, and wondered why she looked pregnant, which gave Julian a start. Now, I have only one question. Gwen found out she was pregnant before Tabby, right? So why isn't she showing yet, since Tabby obviously is if Rebecca saw it. Oh, well, it is Passions. Back to the story. Liz lights her candle, smells it for a while, then hears a voice telling her the shed has the answers to getting everything she wants. She finds the key to the shed (How'd she know where it was, and why didn't Eve know all these years?) and goes to have a look, giving the impression there is really something wrong in there. We, of course, have to wait longer to find out what it is. How fair is that? We've been waiting four years with not a hint, and she gets here six months ago and already knows! Anyway, Tabby skips on out to Sheridan's cottage, giving her some potpourri, and after a whiff, Sheridan falls asleep and dreams of clowns, hypodermic needles, and losing her baby. Then Theresa comes in and takes a whiff, walks into the kitchen and is transported into a black and white hovel, with Little Ethan missing. She is accosted by a TV that insists on showing her a show called the Boozebournes, based on Ozzy and family, complete with vulgarity and bleeps galore. I'm not sure what the point of the show was, other than letting us know they aren't really nice people, and we already knew that. It turns out, however, that the rude, obnoxious son is really Little Ethan, who wants nothing to do with his Mummy dearest. Theresa finally gets out and finds Little Ethan really is missing, and howls loud enough to pierce the eardrums of Ethan and Gwen in the mansion, who are having a sweet little lovey-dovey talk. He goes running to see what's wrong, and Gwen follows. Antonio and Sheridan come to see, too. They eventually find him in the closet (ok, this little guy sure can't walk, and he would be lucky to be able to crawl, so how on earth did he get out of the crib and get into the closet?) and everything is ok, except Theresa needs Ethan's help to keep her son out of the clutches of the Boozebournes....I mean Julian and Rebecca. He's willing, Gwen's upset, and we'll see what happens next week. Let me say here that Julian did a really great job playing Ozzy. He was so good I forgot it wasn't him a couple of times, and Gwen did a great job as the daughter. Another fairly funny bit was Precious falling for Luis. She was so cute when she first saw him! And the tango was adorable. But....did anyone else think it was a bit much when Luis told her he appreciated the fact she found him attractive? I don't know, there's just something about leading an orangutan on that I just find a little off.

One more complaint. What on earth were they thinking when they put the aging makeup on Miguel in the dream movie? His hair looked like Hitler, and it looked like the putty they put on his face was sliding off and taking his face with it!!! I'm sorry, but that was the ugliest job I have ever seen. He just looked pathetic. Charity didn't look much better, but not as bad as he did. Someone told me they thought he looked like the love child of Shemp and the Elephant Man, and I have to was an apt description.

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