One Life to Live Best Lines Monday 1/9/12

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Provided By Wanda

Clint: Why do you look like the old Stacy Morasco? You had that surgery. I heard all about it.

Stacy: Just be glad you didn't have to pay for it. Cost me an arm and a leg, let me tell you.

Clint: So why don't you look like Gigi?

Stacy: Um, because this isn't the planet Earth? They make you wear your real face here.

Clint: "Here"? Where's "here"?

Stacy: Um, Hello? Carbon-monoxide poisoning? Or did you forget the part where they cut me open and gave you my heart without even asking me?

Clint: So, if you died, then this is what? The afterlife? The gates of Heaven?

Stacy: Um, it's a little gloomy for Heaven, don't you think? Bit on the warm side?

Clint: Well, then what the Hell --

Stacy: Bingo! Now you're getting the picture.

Clint: You're trying to make me think that I'm in Hell, and that's ridiculous.

Stacy: What's ridiculous is how much crap you got away with -- kidnapping, switching paternity tests. I mean, you didn't come forward when you knew Shane needed a bone-marrow transplant. Oh, and, uh, what about when you hired those goons to turn Robert Ford into hamburger?

Clint: Mr. Ford has sins of his own to answer for. He deserved everything he got.

Stacy: Well, your brother didn't deserve what he got, now, did he? So, what's your excuse for what you did to Bo? You tried destroying your brother's marriage, didn't you? Blackmailing some woman to drug him and trying to sleep with him? That was bad enough. But then to sic that -- ugh -- disgusting Eddie Ford on Nora --

Clint: That, I regret.

Stacy: Who cares what you regret? You're a completely horrible person, which is why you're here with me.

Clint: And you're supposed to teach me a lesson?

Stacy: You're here to clean up the mess that you made of your life. That way.

Stacy: Come on, Cowboy. Time to head off to your last roundup.

Clint: I'm not going anywhere with you.

Stacy: You have a reservation, and you and that bad heart were supposed to be here months ago.

Clint: Well, that reservation is gonna have to wait, 'cause Viki needs me. That lunatic shot her!

Stacy: Allison Perkins, right? Oh, that girl does have style.

Clint: I don't want to talk about Allison Perkins! I need to get home, because you're right about one thing. I made a mess out of my life. And thanks to Viki, I'm making amends.

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