One Life to Live Best Lines Friday 12/16/11

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Roxanne: I'm here to present an ignited front.

David: Can you cut to commercial? I know this woman. She's deranged.

Blanca: Deranged sells. Ma'am, please, tell us who you are.

Roxanne: Hi. I'm Roxanne Louise Lipchitz Balsom, and I am the owner of Foxy Roxy's Hair Haven downtown. Your hair always grows, so we never close. Oh, yeah. We also do Brazilian waxes.

Blanca: You were saying about "Fraternity Row"?

Roxanne: Uh, yes. I want to bring attention to the fact that my favorite soap opera has been canceled.

Shaun: Not just hers.

Destiny: Ours too.

Roxanne: Okay. And this is my posse over here, minus one overworked butler. But we represent a group called "S.O.S." "Save our Stories."

Matthew: Can we not talk about this right now? Pretty soon our lives are gonna be all baby all the time, all right? David's on "Blanca Morales," and I'd like to enjoy my last few days before I become a teenage father.

Blanca: Wait a minute.

David: Destiny, you should go home. In your condition, you need to relax. You certainly shouldn't be crashing talk shows with these crazy -- with these creative soap fans.

Destiny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to take it easy. If only I had some help from my baby's father -- your brother. But do you see him here? No. Because now that he's out of his coma, he wants nothing to do with me, just like you want nothing to do with "Fraternity Row."

Blanca: Your passion for "Fraternity Row" is admirable, but how do you think this one guy can save it?

Roxanne: Well, Blanca, you know, David is quite a big movie star right now and his high wattage, if he lends it to "Frat Row," then that buzz will kind of make the ratings go right through the roof and kaboom, and then the show is saved.

Shaun: It worked for "Southwest General."

Roxanne: Oh, yes, it did. Franco James -- he is so hot. You know, he played the crazy puppeteer, and everybody was talking about it. And David is almost as big a movie star as he is, but not quite. But maybe he is too big to help out his loyal fans.

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