One Life to Live Best Lines Thursday 4/14/11
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Provided By Gisele
Ford: Hey, have fun with Grandma while Daddy was at the gym? What do you say, little buddy? You want to get in some father-son bonding time while Mommy is off in the men's steam room doing some nasty things with that Cutter guy?
Tess: Honey, I'm home.
Ford: Thought you'd be out for a little while.
Tess: I got bored. Hey, kid.
Ford: And you thought that coming home to a husband you hate and a kid you don't care anything about would be, what, tons of fun?
Tess: Not fun, but funny. You're always good for a laugh.
Ford: Well, I guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Tess: Oh, you missed me.
Ford: Not really, no, but the fact that you're back means that your one roll in the steam room with Cutter was enough and now you can focus on this custody case.
Tess: Well, then I guess you should kick that gift horse in the teeth, because in no way have I had my fill of Cutter "Wentworth."
Ford: Well, then why aren't you back--
Tess: Buffing the steam room floor with him? I wish I was. We got interrupted.
Tess: Shh, shh, shh. I'm gonna shut your kid up for you.
Ford: Why? By spiking his bottle?
Tess: No. He's not hungry, but I will keep that in mind. He's just tired. You're not ready to go to bed yet, are you? You need a little bit of encouragement. Ok, here we go. Good night, hunks. Good night, Jessica. Good night, drunks. Good night, Todd's body count. Good night, Bess. Good night, my bank account. Good night, Lords. Good night, Fords. Good night to Llanview, one and all. And that's how it's done.
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