One Life to Live Best Lines Wednesday 8/11/10

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Provided By Kathy

Viki: David, what is wrong with you? Of course it's Brody's baby. Who else's would it be?

David: Well, it's a fair question. I mean, look who we're talking about.

Jessica: Excuse me?

David: I mean, one day you're Bess, another day you're Tess. Then you're a teenager. Now you're pregnant. Who knows what your others have been up to? I am saying this for your own protection.

Viki: Okay, Jessica, ignore him, darling, please. Just ignore him.

Charlie: Yeah, he'll be living somewhere else soon. Hopefully tonight.

Jessica: It's okay. I'm fine, really, because I have even more good news. And David cannot ruin this because I know for a fact he doesn't know what it is.

David: What? Are you getting married?

Jessica: I don't believe it.

David: I'm a natural at this kind of thing.

Téa: My ride's here.

Todd: What are you talking about? I thought we were taking you to the airport.

Téa: Who said I was taking a plane?

Todd: You did.

Téa: No, I didn’t. Stop trying to trap me. I don't want you guys following me, okay? I wanna say our good-byes here.

Todd: You know, I'm really sick of marrying you for only 24 hours.

Téa: Huh! Really? It's one of my favorite pastimes.

David: Well, I'm all for celebrating. Viki, where do you keep your secret stash of champagne?

Viki: No, there's only one stash of champagne.

David: Oh. Well, you may be out. Well, certainly you've got some spirits squirreled away around here somewhere. There's gotta be something the 4 of us can drink, right?

Jessica: I can't drink.

David: Why not?

Jessica: I'm pregnant.

David: Viki?

Viki: Heart transplant.

David: Charlie?

Charlie: Alcoholic.

David: Where's that redhead when you need her?

David: Miss a day, miss a lot, huh, Viki?

Viki: Jessie, is this true?

David: Of course, Jessica is not the only one with great news.

Charlie: What, you're pregnant, too?

David: I'm in love. Her name is Mandy, and she's smoking hot.

Viki: That's very nice, David. I want to talk about Jessica.

David: Did you also hear that hell froze over? Clint and Dorian are back together, too.

Charlie: Look, David. I realize you're hungover.

David: If you realize that, you wouldn't be screaming.

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