One Life to Live Best Lines Friday 7/2/10

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Provided By Kathy

David: You look ridiculous in that swimming suit.

Ford: This coming from last year's model.

David: Free piece of advice, Ford. Not everybody can be sexy. I've been wearing the stars and the stripes on the Fourth of July since you were in diapers.

Ford: Actually, speaking of diapers, yours is looking a little saggy.

Dorian: Darling, I am so proud of the way you handled yourself with Ford.

Langston: Yeah, pushing him in the pool--real mature.

Dorian: You stood up for yourself. That's the Cramer way.

David: She's absolutely right. There's nothing that a Cramer woman does better than crash and burn her one shot at love.

Langston: What?

Dorian: Do not listen to anything that this has-been hemorrhoid salesman has to say.

David: I didn't sell hemorrhoids. I was the spokesman for the number 3 national hemorrhoid cream. Langston, I got to say, if you can see past Ford's unsightly facial twitch and that obvious glass eye, I think he's a changed man.

Dorian: The only thing that is obvious is your low I.Q.

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