One Life to Live Best Lines Monday 4/5/10

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Provided By Kathy

Nora: Okay, so run this by me again. Now, Allison Perkins somehow got her hands on Schuyler Joplin's daughter?

Rex: Only she's not Schuyler Joplin's. She's Oliver Fish's.

Nora: I thought he was gay.

Rex: Yeah, apparently he's open-minded. Or he was.

Bo: Yeah. Ahem. It's a long story. Bottom line is, Allison brought the baby to Schuyler at Statesville. By now, she and Mitch, they're both in custody, but then Fish shows up with a DNA test. He took custody of the baby.

Nora: Oh, wow. Poor Schuyler.

Rex: Yeah, well, poor Schuyler took Allison’s gun.

Bo: No. We don't know that for sure.

Rex: Mitch doesn't have it. Allison doesn't have it. Who could have taken it?

Nora: Wait a minute. What does Schuyler need a gun for? He's a doctor.

Rex: He's a sore loser is what he is.

Roxy: I don't have to listen to this.

Allison: Roxy, this may be the last time I ever get to tell you the truth.

Roxy: You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the ass.

Allison: Bingo! Schuyler Joplin's your boy, and my sister Leah raised him.

Roxy: Schuyler's mom's name was Leah, Leah Joplin. I read the paper. She was an O.B. She worked at the hospital. Shot herself. Said your sister killed herself, she blew her brains out?

Allison: I underestimated you, Rox. You're actually using your head for more than your hair.

Destiny: Oh, my God, I almost forgot. You're in it.

Todd: No. I am?

Destiny: Yeah. It's a great part. The villains are always the most fun to play.

Todd: Ha! Am I the villain?

Dani: No news there.

Todd: Well, I'll have you know that if Starr’s friend had bothered to tell both sides of the story, I'd surely have been the hero.

Dani: On what planet?

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