One Life to Live Best Lines Tuesday 9/9/08

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Provided By Suzanne

Blair: Are you leaving me already?

John: Not until I hear from Fish.

Blair: Kind of seems like it would be a waste just staring at the ceiling while we wait.

Well, I certainly hope Mr. Fish is as busy as we are.

Antonio: The thing is, Ramsey got played.

Bo: Yeah, I figured that when he got murdered.

Antonio: Well then, I guess you know that you're related by marriage to the recently deposed fake crown princess of Mendorra, the one and only Tina Lord?

Tina: So, what are you going to do? Fence the jewels in Center City?

Tess: No, I think I'm just going to make sure that you and your little rat-dog never get your paws on them again.

Tina: So answer me. What are you going to do to your sister?

Tess: Oh, she's not my sister. Not anymore.

Tina: Oh my God, no. You've already done something to her. I mean, more than drugging her and locking her in a room down in the basement?

Tess: Hmm, a whole bunch of none of your beeswax.

Tina: Look, I know you think this is going to make you feel better, but have you really thought this thing through?

Tess: That is frigging hilarious coming from you.

Tina: And what about all your lies? What, they're okay?

Tess: Oh, you should talk, lady.

Tina: All right, Tess, well what are you going to do if you get caught? Because you know, I figured it out. And as you constantly tell me, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Bo: Good, good. It's about time this department got back to normal.

Sarah: Uncle Bo, something terrible has happened to Cristian.

Tess: [Laughing] Relax, I'm not going to kill her. That would be too easy for her. Although when I am done with her, she will be begging me to put her out of her misery.

Marty: Let's do a duet.

Todd: Oh, no way. I am not musical.

Marty: I know, but you said I'm a teacher, right? So maybe I could teach you.

Todd: Yeah, but I've got a tin ear, man.

Marty: Good, good, good. Now, here, can you bend those fingers?

Todd: I can bend them.

Marty: Just a little bit more.

Todd: I know how to bend them.

Marty: No, so they rest naturally on the keys, see?

Todd: Like that?

Marty: [Giggling] Does that feel natural?

Todd: Yeah, that feels natural.

Marty: Okay, okay, okay -- wait.

[Clears throat]

[Plays "Heart and Soul"]

Todd: Look at you. Amnesia, schmam-nesia, baby. Geez.

Marty: That's it, right?

Todd: That's fantastic.

Tina: I'm coming with you.

Tess: Oh, no, you're not. You and your little rat dog are going to stay far away from there, or else. And -- you don't need me to demonstrate to you what that means, right?

Tina: Oh, no, no, no -- that's all right.

Tess: Okay, Auntie T. All you have to do is forget everything that you've seen and heard, which shouldn't be hard for you, considering you're such an airhead. Okay? This is between me and my bitch of an ex-sister.

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