One Life to Live Best Lines Thursday 9/4/08

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Provided By Suzanne

Nora: "Although Mendorra is a nation that respects same-sex partnerships, it is less tolerant of fraud."

Clint: Good. About time Carlo Hesser got his.

Jared: Oh, my man, the gate for my flight to Bogotá was changed. Is this it?

Airline employee: Check the boards.

Jared: All right, thank you, pal, that was -- helpful.

Todd: I'm a little busy right now.

Tess: Yeah, well, get unbusy and get your ass over here to Llanfair or I'll tell John McBain about your little house guest, okay?

Tina: Tess, if you leave me in here, you're going to be sorry you ever reared your ugly little head!

Tess: Did you just call me ugly?

Tina: You are nothing like Jessica.

Tess: Yeah, I know, because Jessica is dead. Lights out, nobody home.

John: Okay. What?

Michael: What, I didn't say anything.

John: Yeah, I know you didn't say -- I know that look.

Blair: Did I, uh, chase him away?

John: Not a lot of guys are leaving the room when you walk in, believe me.

Tina: Someone's got to hear me. I'm sorry, David Vickers. I think this place is sealed tight as a tomb.

[David Vickers whimpers]

Tina: Oh, sorry. Bad choice of words.

Tess: Listen, your ditz sister is on to me, okay? She knows that I'm not Jessica.

Todd: Well, whose the ditz who let her figure it out? This isn't my problem.

Tess: I think if she found out that she was raped, she would consider herself a hostage. I actually think that she would try to escape, but then, she can't escape, now, can she, because she's an amnesiac cripple who everybody thinks is dead.

Cristian: So you want us to lie to Adriana, huh?

Rex: No, I just want to be the one to tell Adriana that it's over. I still care about her.

Cristian: Well, you have a hell of a way of showing it.

Rex: And I suck, I know that. Adriana deserves better.

Talia: The first thing I'm going to do when I get back in Llanview is I'm going straight to your mother's diner and I am going to get so much delicious takeout. What?

Antonio: Uh, babe, a lot's happened since you left Llanview.

Clint: I suppose that you've got something to say, too.

Nora: Yeah, I suppose I do.

Todd: How the hell could you let Tina sniff you out?

Tess: She didn't sniff me out, the dog -- sniffed me out. Funny, yeah.

Todd: The dog screwed you up, huh? God, you are dumb.

Layla: So -- how is this working out for you? Does sitting at a bar crying in your tequila help you feel better about not being with Marcie?

Michael: No. How about you?

Layla: Not a bit. It actually feels -- pathetic.

John: You don't know why I'm here?

Blair: Um -- free drinks?

John: That, too. Actually, I heard there was a singer that was supposed to be pretty hot.

Clint: Before you saddle up that moral high horse of yours, let's remember --

Nora: Oh, not a good start.

Sarah: I used to like you, Jared.

Jared: Yeah -- back when nobody else did.

[Jared chuckles]

Sarah: You know, I'm not sure I want to give you another chance, but if it involves getting B.E. back, I might not hate you anymore.

Jared: I'll take that.

[Sarah chuckles]

Michael: Ooh, no -- I don't dance.

Layla: Oh, too bad. Too bad, too bad. I'm tired of feeling bad. I just want to feel good again, even if it's just for one song. Don't you?

Michael: No, you know, look -- I can remove your gall bladder and not leave a scar, but my dancing -- leaves scars.

Layla: Okay, well --

Michael: Mental and physical.

Layla: Okay, I can make anybody look good. Come on.

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