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Guiding Light Top Ten List
25 Things that the
Characters of Guiding Light 1. Reva Shayne needs a book on how live without alienating your
bringing home strays, and staying out of trouble. I am surprised that she
hasn't gotten herself killed for real the way she carries on.
can ask Santa for this Christmas
2. Mariah Lewis needs a file and a mannequin that looks like her when she
returns home from Chicago. She will be grounded either by her parents or
FBI until she is 30 and we can't have that. She needs a way to come and go
without anyone being the wiser.
3. Shayne Lewis pretty much needs the same things as his sister this year.
is in big trouble.
4. Joshua Lewis needs to get his head out from under Olivia's butt long
enough to realize that he is number 2 and 3's father and that he has a
responsibility to actually father them instead of expecting Reva to do it
5. Olivia Spencer needs a husband that can commit to her and the brains to
realize that she is going to lose big time by being involved with yet
one of Reva's ex-spouses. Don't hook her up with Buzz either, Santa. Reva
been there and did that too.
6. Buzz Cooper, he does need a good woman Santa. He isn't a bad man but he
sure can get mixed up with some weird women. Let's examine the last 3,
Cooper Lewis, tries to fake a pregnancy and hides an 18 year old pregnant
girl in the attic so she can take her baby when it is born. Jenna Bradshaw
Cooper, reformed jewel thief. Buzz you should have know that her past
catch up with her sooner or later just like it did with number 3, Selena
Davis. She had mob connections that nearly got you and her killed. Try
someone that is more like Betty Crocker since he owns a restaurant this
7. Harley Cooper Spaulding needs a holiday that she doesn't have to spend
across the table from the first Mrs. Spaulding. Whose bright idea was it
anyway to have Beth and her in the same room during Thanksgiving?
8. Phillip Spaulding needs his butt kicked from Springfield to Tulsa for,
pardon the pun, screwing up, when he and Beth crash landed back in the
winter. Who is their right mind is going to think about sex when they are
slowly freezing to death?
9. Beth Lemay needs a dose of the same kick that you give Phillip. She was
just as guilty as he was and she needs to leave Edmund alone too before
10. Jim Lemay needs more money in which to gamble away at the casino,
that or a lifetime membership to Gambler's Anonymous.
11. Susan Lemay needs a cage for her parents to put her in at night and at
other times that they believe that she is lying about where she will be.
girl is going to get herself killed, raped or wind up missing somewhere if
someone doesn't control her better than they are. Maybe Harley can give
some handcuffs for her too.
12. Meta Bauer needs a certificate for being the most sane person on this
show. Everyone else is certifiable and if they told the most insane one to
fall out of the sack first, they would be fighting over who was going to
13. Catalina, oh sweet little Catalina. She has had such a terrible life
Santa. Please give her political asylum and a green card. The job offer
she has from Blake might not be in her best interest but you could give it
try at least until Blake gets her ministers license.
14. Blake Marler, speaking of the minister's license, why not go ahead and
don't forget the rose bushes that she was promised for her $89.95.
15. Ross Marler needs a phone that cuts off at 10:00 PM automatically so
no one can find him while the poor man is trying to get some shut eye.
16. The Marler kids need for their parents to remarry whether Ross thinks
that he needs to or not. And for God sake, don't let Blake have another
like the one in her fantasy. She has her hands full as it is.
17. Holly Lindsay needs some more fishing equipment so that she can
Billy Lewis with her skills some more. Skunk not included this time unless
you send her plenty of tomato juice to get rid of the scent.
18. Billy Lewis, let's see, yelp, it is about time for him to meet his
mate and I do believe that he and Holly make a might nice couple. So
give Billy a diamond ring to slip on Holly's finger. Someone may as well
married at the new real Millennium. Odds are running against Josh and
actually tying the knot.
19. May, oh my God, May. May, May, go away and never come back any day.
in the world is wrong with this girl? Be sure that you sent the cigarette
tray with her while you are at it.
20. Claire Ramsey has been a very bad girl this year. She helped Carmen
Santos fake her death before her son provided the real thing for her and
almost got Michelle killed in the process. I would say have Grandma Santos
take out a contract on her but I think that Danny crushed her cell phone
her ability to do that so I guess that a box of Cuban cigars for her and
to smoke is about all she deserve.
21. Father Ray Santos needs a new church and plenty of non-mob
to run it. He is such a good person. Please help him have a good and
productive year Santa.
22. Danny Santos needs peace in his life anyway that you can find to give
to him. He really isn't a bad person so maybe a good psychiatrist will be
able to make him see that Carmen left him no choice when he killed her.
23. Michelle Bauer Santos needs an uneventful pregnancy. She needs to just
sit at the kitchen table with Aunt Meta and gestate until the baby is born
healthy. No more sitting by the dock of the bay for her please. Or should
say, passed out by the dock of the bay.
24. Rick Bauer, well, you gave him his legitimate medical license and
of Abigail and a baby, I would say that this all the man really would want
25. And last but not least, Lizzie Spaulding. She needs to stay in
and enjoy her new found health. Also, if Richard is going to execute
when he finds out that he was behind the Cassie and O'Rourke scam, please
her stay in the dark about it when the deed is done.
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