Guiding Light  Best Lines Wednesday 4/1/09

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Provided By Tanya

Edmund: Okay, how do you know it's labor or maybe it's just a cramp.

Reva: Oh, I think by now I know the difference between the two.

Edmund: Okay. Okay. Fine. Maybe I should just boil some water.

Reva: This is real life, you idiot! It's not a movie!

Jeffrey: I'm-- my wife is having a baby.

Traffic cop: Hey, that's a new one. Is she in the trunk?

Josh: In the trunk? That's very funny. ( Laughs )

Jeffrey: Yeah. That is a good one. I'll have to remember that one. But, seriously, Officer, my wife is having a baby. She's on her way to Cedars hospital in Springfield, and I'm meeting her there.

Josh: He's telling the truth, alright. Now, if I was speeding a little bit, I apologize for that. But it's true. His wife, who actually happens to-- well, she used to be my wife-- not that the baby, of course, is mine.

Jeffrey: The baby is mine! The baby is mine! So is the car. Okay? My so-called friend here...

Josh: So-called!?

Jeffrey: ...Thought he could drive.

Josh: You know what? Next time I'm going to let you drive. In the frame of mind that you're in right now, you'd probably wreck the car, and that would really help Reva, wouldn't it?

Jeffrey: Because you're the only one who can help Reva!

Josh: That's the thanks I get for trying to be a nice guy!

Jeffrey: I told you to let me handle this!

Josh: Like you handled Edmund?

Traffic cop: Hands on your heads. Do it.

Josh: Really?

Father Ray: Be good to her Frank, or else.

Frank: Is that a blessing?

Father Ray: No. That's a promise.

Natalia: See, that's nice to have somebody on my side of this party.

Frank: I'm on your side, honey, absolutely. So, Father, I have to ask you a question: This union, does it count as an answered prayer?

Father Ray: Oh, does it ever. I used up almost all the votive candles praying for you to find a woman. ( Laughter ) I mean, the right woman.

Jeffrey: My wife is having a baby!

Josh: Your wife, your baby! I get it, okay. You know, she had other husbands and other babies before she ever even met you! You are not indispensable.

Edmund: Well, if you'll excuse me.

Jeffrey: Edmund, wait. I just want to say that...

Edmund: Please, Mr. O’Neill, if word got out about this, it would ruin my reputation.

Reva: Edmund... thank you.

Edmund: Hey, you could always name him Edmund.

Reva: I'm not that grateful. ( Laughs )

Edmund: Didn't think so.

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