As The World Turns Best Lines Monday 3/2/09
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Provided By Elayna
Brad: I am so glad to see you.
Henry: Hey, when the big guy calls, I come a-running.
Brad: Henry, you are the best friend a guy could have, really.
Henry: Okay. What have you done now?
Henry: Nothing? Right, right. The call, the compliments -- I recognize a catastrophe when I see one. Now, is this a category one or a category five? What's the martini count on this?
Brad: No martinis necessary. I need your help in filling out this paperwork.
Henry: She doesn't know yet, does she? Brad, Katie hates surprises. Especially those that last 18 years. Or more. Casey Hughes is 21 -- he still lives at home, when he's not in jail.
Brad: Okay, you know what? Seeing her cry in that hospital bed -- that killed me, man.
Henry: There's nothing deadlier than a woman's tears.
Alison: You know, you can't get past your own stupid jealousy. And it's a horrible waste of time. Because it means whoever -- whoever did this is still out there.
Casey: Yeah, probably bartending at Yo's.
Henry: Well, I just thought I'd drop in, spend some time with my buddy Brad - - a little male bonding.
Brad: Yeah, he just came over to -- to watch the game.
Katie: I thought you had a psychological aversion to sports.
Henry: Poker game.
Katie: On TV?
Henry: Yep, yep. National championships. And it is too a sport. It's a brutal test of mental skill and precise hand-eye coordination.
Katie: Oh. Why don't you use some of that hand-eye coordination, and turn on the TV?
Katie: Oh. You thought I wanted to adopt?
Brad: I mean, that's what we're talking about, isn't it?
Katie: No. Brad, Vienna offered to be our surrogate.
Brad: Our what? You mean, where your eggs and my boys are --
Katie: Are implanted into Vienna.
Brad: Whoa, I need to sit down.
Katie: You are sitting down.
Vienna: I'm talking about Brad and Katie. I'm going to be pregnant for them.
Henry: Come again?
Vienna: I'm going to carry their baby.
Henry: In your arms?
Vienna: No, silly. I'm going to be their surrogate. We're going to take Katie's egg and Brad's sperm and implant it in my --
Henry: No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop! Stop talking!
Vienna: You just wait until you see what it'll do to my breasts!
Henry: No, no, no! Don't change those! Not for anything or anyone. They're works of art!
Vienna: Yeah, and it'll be bigger works of art! Just the idea of being pregnant. I mean, I feel this rush of hormones going through my body.
Henry: Then fight it. Fight it. Think about something else. Think about -- think about baseball.
Vienna: Well, you want to go to third base?
Henry: Forget about baseball. Think about -- think about fashion.
Vienna: Like what? Like the red, the new red cocktail dress with the plunging neckline that'll go all the way down --
Henry: That you won't -- that you will not be able to wear. Because you'll be too concave, all of your clothes will go to waste.
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