ATWT Best Lines Wednesday 2/4/09

As The World Turns Best Lines Wednesday 2/4/09

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Provided By Elayna

Vienna: So I told Pepper he's not allowed to eat from your plate.

Henry: He shouldn't be allowed to eat from anyone's plate, sweetheart.

Vienna: And I said to him, if it happens again, he's not allowed to come down with us for breakfast.

Henry: Honey, he's a dog. I don't think he comprehends cause and effect.

Vienna: He's bright, and he's had extensive training.

Henry: He's had expensive training. I don't know about extensive, judging by how little he knows.

Vienna: I just think that if you were a little bit more affectionate to him, he would be more obedient.

Henry: Yeah, and we can just throw decades of behavioral science right out the window.

Vienna: I don't care what the experts say. I know my Pepper.

Henry: Well, all I can say is, it is a good thing that we don't want kids because I think they'd be in therapy for the rest of their lives.

Henry: And I don't want you to think I'm a hard-hearted pet owner. I just -- the vet told us that he should not eat table food.

Vienna: Have you ever looked at that canned dog food? It's not fit for human consumption!

Henry: It's not supposed to be for human consumption.

Vienna: Well, Pepper has very refined tastes.

Henry: Sweetie, he's a dog.

Henry: Well you know, if they really wanted great ratings, we're the ones that they would be filming.

Vienna: Well of course, if they were filming us, they could never use it on TV.

Henry: Now, maybe late night cable. I don't know.

Vienna: Oh, yeah! Pay-per-view!

Henry: Well, if I'm going to play you, I have to look the part.

Brad: Try spending a year in the gym.

Henry: Okay, big guy. You know, I never thought I would say this to anyone, least of all you, but I need you to get out of your clothes.

Henry: You think marriage is a commitment? Vienna, no, having kids is a commitment! You have to raise them, and you have to feed them, and give them a good education. And you have to smile when they inevitably turn on you.

Vienna: Why do you always have to be so negative?

Henry: I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm trying to be realistic. I worked harder at raising my sisters than anything I've ever done in my life, and one of them still ended up being a serial killer, okay?

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