ATWT Best Lines Wednesday 1/28/09

As The World Turns Best Lines Wednesday 1/28/09

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Meg: What's this?

Dusty: She's a realtor. She's got a couple of places she wants you to see.

Meg: You mean us to see?

Dusty: Yeah, well, I want you to pick out the one you like best.

Meg: Well, you have to like it too.

Dusty: As long as it's got plenty of space for the kids, I'm good with whatever you pick.

Meg: You mean you don't want to make sure that the kitchen appliances are up to your standards?

Luke: Jade, you are family.

Jade: Thanks, but I'm not really feeling it right now.

Luke: Was it because of Derek?

Jade: Well, when your long-lost father wants nothing to do with you, it doesn't really give you that warm family glow.

Meg: Well, that's part of it. He's also wants to show a judge that he can give Johnny the stable home and family that Craig can't.

Josie: What's stable about being married to someone whose mentally ill ex-husband is obsessed with her?

Josie: What, do you think he's not going to find out?

Meg: Dusty's there right now. He's telling him.

Josie: Are you kidding me? You -- you let Dusty do your dirty work for you?

Meg: He insisted!

Josie: And you let him? You're even more of a coward than I thought.

Jade: I'm -- Jade Taylor, I'm here for the assistant position. I have an appointment?

Emily: Yeah, yeah, I know. I made the appointment, thank you. I'm assuming this is your resume?

Jade: Thank you for seeing me so last minute.

Emily: Yeah, I really didn't have a choice. My assistant just walked out on me this morning. You'd think it was the first time I ever called her an ignorant little twit. Now I'm up to my eyeballs with work and I'm answering my own phone.

Emily: Do you have computer skills?

Jade: You mean, like, typing?

Emily: Like word processing, data basing, database management, spreadsheets?

Jade: No.

Emily: No. No, guess they don't teach you that in jail.

Jade: I've never went to jail.

Emily: Oh really, it says here you've been arrested.

Jade: Not convicted.

Emily: Well, congratulations.

Emily: Oh, great. Where's his number?

Jade: He said you have it.

Emily: Uh, no, I don't. How could you not ask for a number? I mean, is it really that difficult to ask for a number?

Jade: I'm sorry.

Emily: Well, sorry doesn't help me, does it? You know what, next time, use the brain God gave you.

Jade: Excuse me?

Emily: Is English your first language? You know what? Forget it. Just -- just go, leave, please. You're fired, okay?

Jade: You never even hired me.

Emily: Great. That's great. Because now I don't have to file the paperwork.

Jade: No wonder there's all those warnings on the job listing.

Emily: What are you talking about?

Jade: I'm talking about how difficult you are to work with.

Emily: Well, they're all a bunch of imbeciles, aren't they?

Jade: You know, I'm sorry I wasted your time. And mine.

Emily: You're not the only one.

Jade: Oh, and there's the damn number. It's called caller id.

Luke: I need a favor.

Alison: Oh, well, if it involves political espionage, I'm retired.

Luke: Well, so am I. Not to mention expelled.

Emily: I don't know what you're talking about.

Casey: I'm talking about how you can't stop controlling your sister.

Emily: So now you want to be a family therapist?

Casey: No, I don't have to be. You're that easy to figure out.

Casey: I think Ali has something for me and that blows your mind.

Emily: You know, if you really are interested in this family therapist thing, you might consider finishing college first.

Casey: Go to hell, Emily. And stay out of my freaking life. Stomps out.

To Jade - What are you doing here?

Jade: I'm applying for a job.

Casey: Well, try the psych ward. There's a lot more sane people.

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