ATWT Best Lines Tuesday 1/13/09

As The World Turns Best Lines Tuesday 1/13/09

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Liberty: Whoa! Time out, guys. There's a very impressionable young girl in the room!

Janet: What? Where? Where?

Liberty: Excuse me, Mom. But there really is nothing more disturbing to my delicate sensibilities than the sight of two senior citizens sucking face

Parker: How's it going?

Craig: Sit down. I'll get us a couple of Bloody Marys.

Parker: Yeah, right.

Craig: Oh, don't tell me they disapprove of teenage drinking before trigonometry.

Parker: Well, there's actually no school today.

Craig: Is today a holiday I'm not aware of?

Parker: It's "national teacher goof-off day." They're at some conference in Chicago learning how to be less boring.

Lily: Craig? You were going to borrow money from Craig Montgomery? Are you crazy?

Carly: All right. You know, Jack thinks exactly the same way.

Lily: Well, he's right! Do you remember how I got burned when I went into business with that man?

Carly: Yeah, but I think things are different now. I think that Craig has changed.

Lily: Carly!

Carly: Only to the extent that he loaned me the money with no strings attached.

Lily: And I've got a bridge to nowhere I'd like to sell you.

Craig: Do I really have to remind you that wives and I tend not to get along?

Lily: Well, you were happy with sierra for a long time.

Craig: Until I wasn't.

Lily: Well, now you have a reason to work at it harder. Most family courts have this strange idea that stable, two-parent homes are good for kids. And since you and dusty aren't going to be setting up housekeeping anytime soon, maybe you ought to look for somebody else.

Craig: I don't suppose you'd divorce Holden and marry me?

Lily: Not on your life.

Craig: It's funny -- most of the women that know me, would give the same answer.

[Lily laughs]

Lily: What about those mail-order brides?

Craig: Do they come with a money-back guarantee?

[Lily laughs]

Craig: I don't see the harm of spending time with my son in a public area of the hotel we all live in.

Jack: The harm is that you didn't ask first.

Craig: Why should I ask? I'm his father.

Dusty: You don't have legal custody, remember? I do!

Craig: Oh, it's a legal issue. Well, legally speaking, aren't you legally dead? I'm not a lawyer or a policeman, but wouldn't that affect his custodial status?

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