As The World Turns Best Lines Thursday 7/24/08
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Provided By Elayna
Janet: Look, I know this thing with Carly and Holden really stinks.
Jack: What? What, my ex-wife have, uh, a thing with my cousin? Who hasn't experienced that?
Jack: Have you -- have you spoken with Liberty in a way that doesn't send her screaming from the room?
Brad: I can't talk to Liberty about sex. Every time I think about it, I just -- Katie, I freeze, okay?
Katie: So what are you gonna do? Ignore it?
Brad: No. I am gonna do what all good fathers have done before me. I am gonna hunt Parker down, and I'm gonna put the fear of God into him. Eyes and hands and everything off my girl. Done.
Noah: Luke, you know, not every relationship is destined to fail.
Luke: Maybe not in fantasy land. But in the real world, no. Happy endings don't exist. That's why romantic comedies don't have sequels. Nobody gets happily ever after.
Liberty: So, this is like the adult version of the Easter bunny, where it's, like, really a good story, but not true.
Brad: No, smarty-pants. It's like, "don't run with scissors, because it's dangerous." "Don't eat before you swim, because you could drown." "Don't stick your fork in an electrical socket, because you'll get a shock and die."
Brad: Excuse me. Excuse me. Don't you have anything on the bad things that can happen if you have sex, like STDs, H.I.V., Death?
Brad: Yeah, that's great. I mean, really, really, that is fantastic. But this is my daughter we're talking about, and I want her to know the good, the bad, and the stuff that penicillin can't cure.
Janet: Ask me why I'm so mad. Go ahead, ask. Ask.
Jack: Uh, let me guess. It starts with "Brad" and ends with "is a dumbass."
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