ATWT Best Lines Monday 12/11/06

As The World Turns Best Lines Monday 12/11/06


Provided By Elayna

Jack: Mike, I am doing everything I can here by the book.

Mike: Really? Because I thought the book said cops go after bad guys. I didn't know it said stall as long as humanly possible in order to protect your ex-wife.

Katie: Right. Now listen, all we have to do is -- we start by making a map of Carly's house.

Henry: A map? Katie? Katie, crooks use ground plans when they're breaking into some place that's heavily guarded. You know, like a museum or a bank, not Carly Snyder's living room.

Henry: No, honey. No. That's why you want it done. That's not why I would do it. And by the way, when did I become the go-to guy for breaking and entering, huh? Is there a big sign on my back that says, "will break law for neurotic blondes"?

Henry: Oh, please. Please -- if you want to save your marriage, you should not have written about sleeping with Simon in the first place.

Katie: I was just trying to purge my guilt.

Henry: Have you heard of the delete key? Purge, delete. Purge, delete.

Craig: Well, first off, let me say how sorry I am. Losing a woman like meg, it must be devastating. You have my sympathy.

Paul: Do I need to tell you what you can do with your sympathy, Craig?

Craig: But it wasn't just an ordinary break up, was it? This wasn't about leaving the toilet seat up. You did something that she just couldn't live with. Must have been big.

Katie: It's not her diamond, it belongs to the people of Leonia.

Henry: Hear ye. Hear ye.

Katie: What if she wears it when she leaves the house?

Henry: We wait until she comes back. But I don't think she's going to wear a million dollar necklace out to some soccer mom event.

Katie: Oh, right, yeah. We all know how Carly worries about being ostentatious.

Katie: Is she ever going to leave?

Henry: How dare she dawdle while we wait to rob her house.

Katie: I should have brought a book or something.

Paul: You never do nothing.

Craig: That's a double negative.

Paul: Okay, you always do something.

Paul: Good. But what you do is never -- and I can't think of the word. What's the word that I'm looking for? Brave. You never do anything brave. You're more, like, a ring and run kind of guy, Craig.

Craig: Oh, right. And changing the bullets in Donovan's gun and letting him take the fall, that's real brave, Paul. Oh, god. Legs that would make a man start thinking about a joint checking account.

Meg: Nicole? Mr. Montgomery's been released. Can you get a wheelchair and escort him out, please?

Nicole: Sure.

Meg: So we can start hosing down the place.

Craig: Mm. I love that hardboiled exterior. Thank you very much, nurse meg, for everything that you've done. And my son thanks you too. Have you two thought about counseling? Love conquers all.

Meg: Craig wants me?

Paul: To torture me.

Meg: What fun. Every girl dreams of being in a position like that.

Katie: You know, for future reference, the next time you're breaking and entering, you might want to try to take less time picking the lock.

Henry: Oh, really? You try doing it quicker. And you might -- you might, when a friend is doing your bidding all day and donning ridiculous costumes, risking arrest, you might want to show a little gratitude, Katie.

Katie: I heard something. Where is it?

Henry: The diamond?

Katie: No, her recipe for deviled eggs.

Henry: That's it.

Katie: No, no, where are you going? Where are you going?

Henry: I'm going away. I'm going far away, okay?

Katie: No, no, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I get mean when I'm nervous.

Henry: You better be much, much nicer to me, okay? Or this is absolutely the last time I break the law with you.

Mike: What'd he say?

Vienna: A lot of French, but Adolpho always curses in French. But I think Simon Frasier's days as a free man are gone.

Mike: Good.

Katie: Isn't it just like Carly to keep a priceless gem down her sofa?

Henry: Oh, you don't want to know what else is down there.

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