Secretary: The judge will see
Will: Um, Judge Colby, thank
you. Thanks for seeing us.
Judge: Steve. Or Judge Steve,
if you want to be formal -- or try and kiss up to me. Ah, the rebel. Or the
kiss-up. Which is it?
Judge: Okay, so that's it for
my state-mandated checklist. There's no physical abuse in the home? Ms.
Norbeck isn't pregnant? There's no immediate danger to either one of you that
is eliminated by getting married and getting you out of a hostile environment?
Will: I guess not.
Gwen: Wait, wait. My mom did
poison herself and frame Will for it.
Will: But that doesn't really
count now. And besides, my mom had you set up for jail time and got you fired
from your job. She's still walking around. You know she's going to try that
Gwen: Yeah, but that doesn't
count as physical abuse, does it?
Judge: Wow. Clearly my
state-mandated checklist has a few gaps.
Judge: You may well hate my
guts in ten years.
Judge: Because you'll be having
your 10th wedding anniversary before you're 30.
Judge: Or you'll be bitter and
divorced a half-decade ahead of schedule. And don't send me a card if that's
the last one.
Maddie: Okay -- this is, like,
the most important day of their lives. And yes, they can do it over again. But
it will never be this moment. So it needs to be more than just words. It needs
to be, like, a whole ceremony.
Judge: You're smart. And I bet
they never listen to you.
Maddie: I'm the shortest.
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