Never let it be said that Earth cannot prevail over a long-term
alien abduction. To my surprise and the surprise of all who had
the great fortune of watching the soaps this week, we witnessed
that victory be won firsthand.
This week I target all three soaps, focusing mainly on One Life
To Live, which deserved to win an Emmy, no matter what the
judges say. Can anyone tell me who exactly are these judges
anyway? Do they actually WATCH the darned soaps?
Let's begin with Livvie Borden Locke, once Ms. Caleb, now MRS.
Rafe. Okay, the Avatar is closing in on her, she thought she
killed him, but she didn't. He shows up at a cozy little
threesome luncheon and shocks the HELL, (no pun intended), out
of Livvie, but Hell-o?? Knock, knock? NO ONE'S NOTICING!! Okay,
how Kevin suddenly got a clue that his daughter is not on the
level is beyond me, but hey, whatever works! By all means, Dr.
Collins, use your THERAPY expertise and shrink your own child!
I cannot understand how a small little town, who has experienced
everything we've only read about in sci-fi novels, or seen in
sci-fi movies, can possibly not take any and every little
"strange" occurrence or behavior apart and put it through the
proverbial metal detector! Jeez, writers!
Enough with the woman wants man so let's fake or force a baby on
them to make them stay with me scenario! First of all, this is
not Walnut Grove in the 1800's. Very few men these days opt to
marry a woman they slept with because she's pregnant. No offense
to the male gender, I'm pointing out the Millennium reality here,
because somehow, these "modern-day" writers seem to think that
us soap viewers are looking at the world through rose-colored
June Cleaver glasses!
However, to be fair, I must say kudos! For making Allison a
classy lady. She handled Livvie with maturity, and with style.
For the first time in a long time, I actually FELT a character's
pain, without needing Minoxidil, or Chloraseptic, and without
going through my basement to look for the Pixie-dust Storyline
Writer's Crossbow that I had purchased somewhere around the time
that Valerie came to Port Charles and broke up Allison and
I am personally disappointed with the arcs since "Tainted Love"
and "Tempted" came to an end. There has to be some fresh ideas
out there somewhere! Ideas that are not recycled from old
storylines that either worked beautifully in their time, or
never worked at all.
I am however, praying for the showdown between Allison, Livvie,
Rafe, the Avatar, Lucy and Kevin to happen at warp speed! I
would love to see Allison knock Livvie on her conniving little
rear end. Of course, she'd have to land on a shock-absorbent
cushion considering her condition.
Over to the other side of Port Charles, we have another example
of a character turning cuckoo, raving mad, or completely violent
when their portrayer is leaving the show. Laura? Hello? What is
the purpose of putting that poor lady through yet ANOTHER
on-the-lamb scenario? My god, isn't surviving the Greek Trojan
War TWICE in her life enough? Hasn't she been through enough
having lost her mom once to the Cassadines then finding her
again? Isn't losing her son not once but twice, and possibly for
the rest of his life...TO THE CASSADINES, enough? How much can
one poor person survive? And if your point is to show that there
are strong women out there. WE GOT THE POINT!
Jeez, the lady married her rapist, had two children with the
man, had a fairy tale wedding, a lifelong marriage, is about to
marry the man again, (if you would let them), she made the whole
town and the whole world love them as a couple, she managed to
love both sons when her husband hated one and had her other son
do the same, and now the boys have reunited. WE GOT THE POINT!
Now after everything she's gone through, they want to put her
through more trauma with Rick's death. Then we have Carly, once
again, sticking her nose in Alexis' pregnancy business again.
Where is the Reality Police when you want them? These two are
shows that have tackled great controversial issues and kept us
watching for many years, it would be a shame to have the writers
ruin it now with recycled storylines.
And now I'd like to talk Llanview. (This is for you, Scott,
JoAnn and Debby T!)
First of all, I'd like to say BRAVO! ENCORE!
It was a shocking surprise to have been able to actually watch
ONE LIFE TO LIVE! The way it used to be. With the exception of
Dizzy Lizzy Rappaport and the nose-thumbing to law enforcement
release from prison for Lindsay, it has been a superb week.
Although we viewers would have wanted to have our cake, (the
return of Viki), and eat it too, (have Niki reveal the secret at
the same time), I must say that I'm happy. Seeing Viki turn into
Mama Bear and claw Rae-Ray to shreds was priceless! Her
overwhelming mix of emotions wore so openly on her face that it
was contagious, and we viewers were infected. When Rae was first
exposed, I felt sorry for all that Asa had done. I was rooting
for her when she turned the tables on Asa, but when she came out
of left field and stuck it to Renee by marrying Asa, I couldn't
be more sadistic than I was when I was salivating the whole time
that Viki was tearing her dumb (BLEEP) to pieces.
Then there was the reunion between Natalie, who got her beloved
mommy back. I personally enjoyed the Jessica-free scenes that
the two ladies enjoyed. It nearly broke my heart when Viki
pleaded with Natalie to believe that she would never hurt her
the way that Niki did. And there couldn't have been a dry eye in
anyone's house when Natalie told her mother that she's waited
her whole life for a mother who really loved her, so she'll wait
for Viki as long as she needs her to.
Not to forget the Ben and Blondie scenes! Oh my god, could there
be so many tears in one human body? Ben and Viki just work for
each other! The chemistry, the way they just fit when they're
standing side by side..it just works! I truly can't wait for the
two of them to return and give us viewers some more of what we
had this week.
Bravo, Gabby Medina! For having the insight to be a REAL mother
and take on the toughest challenge in the world...making your
child face the consequences of his/her actions. Bravo to you for
not dismissing the situation because your disrespectful little
brat went into one of his tantrums.
And now I have two other issues that I'd like to bring up,
although it may stir up some controversy..
What in hell are the writers thinking to pair up Nora with the
twin brother of her would-be rapist and captor? I personally
don't see any sparks between these two, and personally I believe
that there couldn't truly be any sparks. Think about it. No
matter how nice the man is, he the IDENTICAL twin of the man who
kidnapped you, drugged you, then STALKED you, kidnapped you
again, and tried to rape you! Could a real-life victim REALLY
fall in love with the identical twin of her assailant and not
wake up every morning freaking the hell out for the first two
minutes after opening her eyes?
And letting the Superbroom out of jail because she saved the
life of a young lady that SHE put in danger in the first place?
The writers are sending a message to the world that nepotism
supersedes the rules of law enforcement, and proving that the
Superbroom supersedes both nepotism AND the law!
(SIGH) Well, since we can't have 100% pure reality here, I'm
happy with the way things have gone this week, and I'll have
enough joy left over to carry me through next week, just in
I have a few wishes I'd like the Soap Fairy to grant.
A) Let Cris and Nat get together
B) Let Jen and Al get together and go take a flying leap over
the Llantano Mountain
C) Let Loonsey fly away on her Superbroom and snatch Rae up in
D) Let Tea and Ross sail off on their busted-up raft and never
E) Let Todd and Blair battle it out, and find their way back to
(If Lindsay can get out of jail, and Nora can be in love with
Troy, let Todd and Blair get together!)
Some of you may want to chew my head off for the Nora/Troy
thing, and that's okay, I have a huge head, so forward your
comments and thoughts to me at:
Thank you, Alien Leaders, for relinquishing your hold on our
writers this week!