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Daytime Opinion Article
 

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED!

Kaydee's Soap Review #15
2/9/03

Greetings, Soaplings!!

You probably thought I dropped off the face of the earth, didn't you? Ha-ha! No way! How can I abandon this cause? If I don't tell of the atrocities in the Land of Soaps, who will speak for the people? (HEE-HEE!)

Enough jesting, it's time to get serious.

Our journey begins with General Hospital, and it's going to be a sassy journey indeed!

First off, is it just me, or is it almost blatantly obvious that Alexis killed Alcazar? Or if she isn't the murderess, she was there that night? Whatever happened to the good old soap days when the viewer was truly in the dark about the outcome of a mystery?

Nowadays, the viewer can place bets on the outcome of a storyline and there'd be no losers! The way Skye looked at her in the precinct interrogation room when she was trying to remember what she saw that night was a dead giveaway! Or maybe it was the panicked look on Alexis' face in the same instance? Oh, puhleeze, spare us the force-feeding! You either have the makings of a mystery or you don't!

Then there's the mobster madness. First off, Jason is still ticking me off. Is he not tired of playing the Little Gopher Boy for Sonny Bonnano- Corinthos? Who the heck is Sonny to tell Jason that he can't be in love with Courtney, even IF he thinks he's protecting his little sister?

Which brings me to my next pet peeve.

Sonny is using the sibling relationship as a smokescreen to cover up his need to control people and things. Now I have a few questions for the Goodfella wanna-be...

How is being in love with a mobster any more dangerous than being the sister of one? Sonny's logic is truly twisted. He forbids the romance because it will put Courtney in danger, but being her brother won't? DUH???

And then there's Tattoo Princess, who is becoming more annoying by the episode. She seems to try and force people's respect, (I did say "respect", not PRO-tect!), which no one cares to give her. Her harem of protectors never want to hear her suggestions, they dismiss her tantrums, and she has become a buttinsky, sticking her nose in other people's love lives when she cannot establish one or maintain one of her own. Her own love life has been established with recycled or unavailable men, which she had either deliberately enticed or indirectly attracted with her uncanny knack of needing to be rescued.

Jax, that sniveling weasel! He's wooed and booed Skye, cruelly insulted her, dumped her like yesterday's trash, and now he wants to resume his role as her protector with platonic modifications? BUZZ OFF, brawny surfer boy!

Ned, the new mobster in town. GIVE ME A BREAK!! Why is it that all of these so-called mature adults, (with Ned insisting on being a father to Baby Kristina), spend their time on concocting revenge schemes rather than focus on what they're going to do to be good parents to a child who is spending the very first weeks of her life fighting to actually HAVE one outside of the Neonatal ICU? HELLO??

How much better an example is Ned going to set than Sonny as a father, when he's not only LOOKING for a war, but he's doing the very thing that he's supposedly protecting the baby from?

HELLOOOOO??? WRITERS??? Do you guys actually THINK about the contents of your storylines before you sic it on the world?

And Elizabeth...

Do I detect a hint of the Scorned Woman? What was the purpose of racing to tell Sonny that Jason and Courtney were together other than to be a jealous B*****? Come on, people! She used to have a lot more class than that!

She needs to cut her losses and hook up with that gorgeous hunk Rick!

Nikolas needs to grow up and stop acting like a spoiled Cassidine. It's so obvious that the writers have run out of fresh ideas ever since Marissa Ramirez left, but they have to honor the contracts, so......

Are you ready for Llanview?

I may have said this before, but since it's still bugging the HELL out of me, I'm saying it again...

Once again, Viki has pitched Natalie into the lion's den in order to embark on a Save Bratty Jessica quest. She was willing to risk her life to FLY IN A SNOWSTORM to London because Prissy Girl was having a bad brain day. Umm, excuse me, but what the HELL is CLINT there for?

Natalie and Cris are literally HIDING to save their lives, and she wants to go hold Jessie's hand because she just discovered that she's been snubbing Natalie for so long when in actuality she isn't the rich girl she thought she was? Whatsamatta, Jessie, can't handle being the person who is on the

receiving end of the paternity shame?

How does it feel to know that you were a cruel snob who treated another human being like trash when you thought you were the Buchanan socialite? By the way, how does that Crow taste?

I'm all for a mother being worried about her child, but there comes a time when you have to make a decision as to who needs more of your time. The writers have continuously written Viki showing favoritism to Jessica even though they try to camouflage it with equal love for both her daughters.

Yes, Jessica was the only daughter that Viki knew for 20 years, but when Viki made the decision to accept Natalie and love her, she accepted parental responsibilities in its entirety to Nat as well.

I'm happy to see that Nora has dumped that loser. For those of you who also read my recaps, you may have remembered me saying that if anyone believed Troy's explanation that sleeping with Loonsey was the "only thing he could do" to keep her quiet, come see me because I had a bridge to sell you. Well, I'm happy to see that Nora won't be a buyer!

MY GOSH! How long did it take the writers to realize that pairing up Nora with COLIN'S IDENTICAL TWIN was clandestine, to say the least??? I was a little disappointed with the way she dumped him in as she was more upset with WHO he slept with rather than the act itself, but hey, whatever works!

I am totallllllllllly enraged with what they've done to Todd and Blair. Sam was never a suitable match for Blair, and just as they make it all right again, they throw a monkey wrench in their own operation. What is this, a soap opera viewership insurance scam?

Deliberately throw in a twist that you KNOW will tick off the fans, then file a DAMAGED SHOW claim and collect the insurance money?

Jeez! Put out a fresh storyline and stick with it!

Anyway, that's all for now, folks. Tune in next week.

Page updated 2/27/13

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