Last week, I wished to be a Whitelighter from the "WB's
Charmed" so that I could learn to work some powers and do
some character damage. And Scott and JoAnn, guess what?
I did it!! I orbed into the screen and slammed Jen and
Jessica! Move over, Charmed Ones, Kaydee the Irate Viewer is
Okay, maybe that wasn't so funny, but how about that big
FAT seven- course meal of CROW Miss Jessica
Buchanan Again had to eat this Friday, eh? Chow down, baby!
Now that you've recovered from your dizzy spell, let me
take you for a tour of our three shows, starting with Llanview.
Viki returning was the best thing that could have happened
this week. Albeit, returning without Ben in tow to call her
Blondie would have been an added bonus, but I'll take any
break from the Alien pixie-dust fiasco that I can get.
Now we find out that Natalie and Jess are really twins. Now
THERE'S a surprise!! Maybe with the new writers, (Or old
writers, whatever floats your boat!), returning, we can
hopefully look forward to some good old- fashioned soap
Jen is getting pushed into a corner, and I have my front
row tickets reserved for the day when Natalie knocks her on
her fanny for trying to keep her from her man. It would be an
added bonus to see Saint Carlotta lying right next to her on
the church floor, preferably holding her chest in excruciating
pain from a shock-induced heart attack!
Yes, you sanctimonious sea hag, Jen DUPED you! She played
you like a fiddle and you hummed like a bird! Seems to me that
Jessie Buchanan will be entertaining a Crow Dinner guest very
The winds must be changing, because for the first time
since NuAl Holden has joined the cast, I'm rooting for him to
catch Jen out there and give her the fight of her life. It has
been refreshingly entertaining to see him grow a SPINE and
call Jen's bluffs. As I said, the winds are changing.
Where, oh where, is Clint Buchanan in all of this
baby-switching madness? You'd think the man would WANT to be
around, especially now that he has TWO daughters to support!
Come on, Production people, make a deal with Clint Ritchie or
recast the darned role, but bring some SANITY back to these
families! BO did NOT have these children, and it's NOT his job
to raise them!
Is there no end to the deadbeat parent syndrome in the
world of Llanview? We have dysfunctional moms, who are either
criminal, absent, drunk, neglectful, or unrealistically nosy
and SUPER moral on one hand. On the other hand, the fathers
are dead, absent, non-existent or are the uncles or strangers
filling in. How many extended overseas business trips exist in
the world of rich business people?
Stop utilizing precious time pursuing bed partners or
financial gains and PAY ATTENTION to your kids! Maybe then
their nannies won't be the ones to see them cut their first
teeth, take their first steps, or witness them trying to GET
PREGNANT and become obsessed stalkers at seventeen! Jeez!
Okay, let's drift over to Port Charles, shall we?
Naked Eyes is picking up. A little repetitious, since we
viewers saw the Steven Clay Band being an evil cult cover-up
coming from a mile away, but it's something to look forward to
just the same. You can only be curious to see where it's going.
Clever call on the part of the casting crew to put Ian
Buchanan in as the band's leader. His talents make any part he
plays exciting, and I am looking forward to seeing this
through to the end. I personally enjoy the whole supernatural
storyline revisited, considering that Marissa is involved and
Michael Easton is returning. It's the Tempted-Miracles Happen
era re-evolving. Works for me! Although in my previous reviews
I have bashed the recycling of old storylines, I must say that
bringing back some old faves can be a brilliant thing,
especially when there was The Grand Puba Alien writing with
Livvie Borden now has a twin, or does she? In reference to
my previous mentions of being able to spot the plots from a
mile away, here's my prediction...
Tess won't turn out to be Livvie's twin, but her parallel
alter from another universe. With the return of Caleb...(oops!
I mean Michael Easton), there's no doubt in my mind that the
Steven Clay Band, Michael Easton and NuLivvie are all
connected. And what's with the repeat of Nora and Troy in Jack
Here we have Jack, not being able to stomach the sight of
Livvie anymore, but he is falling for her TWIN, her look-alike,
whatever? Oh, come now. Human nature doesn't provide us with
the ability to see a person's inner beauty right away,
ESPECIALLY when that person has the
IDENTICAL face of someone that has hurt us or represents
Now, we'll go over to General Hospital, and things are
really heating up! Scotty has exposed Alexis' one-night stand
with Sonny, and although Sonny covered for her, the public's
minds are buzzing with the allegation. In addition, the
paternity of Alexis' unborn daughter has been revealed to the
very person from which she wanted to protect the child.
Sonny is on the hunt now, to claim his territory, and poor
Alexis can't fight back, because she doesn't even know that a
war has begun. Damnation to Carly, for suffering a sudden
attack of guilty conscience, for she has not received
gratitude from Sonny, he spit her honesty back in her face,
and has made a worse enemy in Alexis.
My credit card is maxed out from all of these ringside
tickets I'm ordering in advance. The Soap Opera Heavyweight
Bout is the event of the century, and debt or no debt, I'm
going to be there to see them all.
First there's the Catfight Rounds:
Carlotta vs. Liz Reynolds
Jen vs. Natalie
Skye vs. Brenda
Carly vs. Alexis
Carly vs. Brenda
Elizabeth vs. Courtney
Viki vs. Roxy
Viki vs. Rae
Viki vs. Allison
If I forgot anyone, e-mail me with the match-up!
Then we have the Testosterone Round:
Sonny vs. Ned
Jax vs. Alcazar
Ned vs. Edward
Lucky vs. Jason
Scott vs. Luke
Cristian vs. Al
The Tag Team Mixed Competition:
Luke & Alexis vs. Scotty and Sonny
Blair vs. Todd
Natalie and Cris vs. Al, Marcie and Jen.
Get your betting money together, folks! It's going to be an
interesting wager. I welcome all predictions, comments and
feedback. Send them to me at: KaydeesHouse@aol.com.