All My Children Best Lines Tuesday 7/19/11
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Cara: Hey. Sorry about J.R.
Tad: I am, too. I don't think I ever told you when he was a little boy, we were walking in the park, he found this injured bird. So we took it to the vet, and the guy was like no way. We should "take care of it," and J.R. wouldn't hear of it. So we took it home, put it in an old hamster's cage on top of a heating pad and took care of it for three or four weeks. It was a sparrow or a finch -- I can't remember which. And anyway, he nursed this thing, fed it with a tweezer. And one day we took it back to the park, and I'm sitting there praying the entire time, feeling so sorry for J.R., thinking this thing is never gonna get off the ground.
Cara: What happened?
Tad: This guy was walking his dog off the leash. It ran over and ate it.
Cara: Oh, my God. That's --
Tad: No. Come on, it's a joke.
Cara: That's not -- no!
Tad: No, I was just -- no, the bird was fine. He took off for the trees like it never missed a beat. Could've knocked me over with a feather.
Cara: You're rolling. I'm bringing it around. Love it.
Tad: My point is he used to be such an amazing little guy. He was so sensitive, in spite of his father. I guess he was just lucky he got his mother's heart.
Cara: It sounds to me like he's got your heart.
Tad: No, it was all Dixie. She had such a way with him. He always believed that things would work out they way they were supposed to, just like that little bird.
Cara: And now?
Tad: Now he's much more like Adam. He's convinced everybody's out to get him.
Cara: Like the little bird?
Tad: Yeah, just like the little bird. And I'm obviously still the same guy, because I'm sitting on that park bench praying for J.R., wondering whether or not he's ever gonna make it off the ground again.
Cara: I think he's lucky that he's got you. You love your family with a vengeance.
Tad: I'm lucky because they love me back the same way.
J.R.: I got crazy jealous every time I saw you with Marissa.
Scott: And what did I tell you, J.R.? Marissa and I, nothing but friends. But you, you wanted to make it something more, so you'd have something to be pissed off about.
J.R.: And all along Marissa's heart was set on Bianca. Maybe Marissa convinced herself she was in love with Bianca just to stick it to me.
Scott: See, that's just like you, J.R. You take someone else's pursuit of happiness as a personal attack.
J.R.: Except there's a new twist -- and you're gonna love this one -- Marissa is a lesbian now, and I had no idea. Or maybe I was right all along, and you really did have feelings for her, and you're just as busted up about her as I am.
Scott: You know what? I am so happy for Marissa, that she came out. In fact, the news made my day.
J.R.: Yeah? Why is that?
Scott: Because if Marissa's gonna be with women, that means she won't be with you ever again.
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