All My Children Best Lines Thursday 3/24/11
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Jake: So this bachelor auction. Can I just really talk for a sec? I feel like a pimp, and I never knew pimps had such hard jobs.
Cara: Oh, my gosh, really, gee, you're chief of staff. Do we need to talk about pimps?
Jake: No. I'm at this moment the acting chief of staff, and the part of my job that I like the best is the non-"dating game" part of my job.
Cara: Ok. Is it really that hard?
Jake: Oh, it's hard. You know what's hard is finding a bachelor that actually willing to volunteer. I'm out on the street. I'm asking handsome fellas, "Hey, are you seeing anybody?" And the funny thing is, I'm oddly good at it.
Cara: They digging you?
Jake: Well, that's the problem. So the other thing I'm actually good at is delegating assignments, and that's what I'm doing right now.
Cara: Oh, no.
Jake: Oh, yes.
Cara: Oh, no, Jake. No, Jake. I have way to much work to do here. You're not --
Griffin: He has a point. I think you would be better at picking up guys than he would.
Jake: Much better. There you go. Take it easy.
Griffin: Yeah. Go pick up guys.
Jake: You got bachelors?
Cara: You gave me an assignment.
Jake: How many did you get?
Cara: Just one.
Jake: Who'd you get?
Cara: Just warming up. My brother.
Jake: Your brother? That's the best you could do?
Cara: Hey, hey, now.
Jake: So he's doing it ok? He's not got a problem with it?
Cara: He's gonna feel really good once the women start forking over the money for him.
Jake: No. We need more hunks. We need more -- I can't believe I just used the word "hunks."
Cara: I'm afraid you did, Jake.
Jake: I don't like what's happening to me.
Cara: Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, look at that. I can go snag myself another bachelor, hmm? Good? Wish me luck.
Jake: Good luck. Someone took my pen.
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