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By Lori
2/23/07

Is it just me, or is All My Children getting more confusing and stranger by the day?

First we have the fake death of Babe, apparently so that the Satin Slayer thinks she’s dead and moves onto stalk Kendall. This somehow is supposed to help uncover the killer, though I’m not sure how.

Now we have Zach and Kendall in Las Vegas looking into the mysterious Alexander Cambias Sr., otherwise known as Zach’s biological father. Zach and Kendall come to figure out that Cambias isn’t really dead, so he must be the Satin Slayer.

They make this leap how? By a small note found in Alex’s casket, which by the way contained numerous rocks but no body. It seemed like there more rocks than there really needed to be. Those rocks looked pretty heavy, and I’m sure they outweighed Alex’s body. Anyway back to the note. It said something to the effect of his once dead son is now alive.

Zach brilliantly figures out that his father is annoyed with him because he faked his death then came back to life and somehow by doing so muddied the Cambias good name. That assumes that that Cambias name was ever good, which is highly disputable.

It seems that good-old Alex was steamed that his other son Michael raped Bianca and brought shame to the Cambias family. Then when he learned later that Zach had faked his death, it must have sent him over the edge and turned him into a serial killer.

Now considering that Alex “died” three or four years ago, it seems like it sure took him a long time to decide his plan of attack.

The fact that Alex went after the women of Fusion one by one in an effort to get back at Zach makes little sense. Why not just go after Zach, or even Kendall and then Zach? Instead it becomes this convoluted, nonsensical storyline whose only purpose it seems is to get rid of a few actresses.

But back to Alex, he somehow follows Zach and Kendall to Vegas and apparently is secretly listening to their conversation where they figure out the ruse. Moments after they realize that Alex is the killer, he calls Zach up on the hotel phone. They set up a meeting at a warehouse.

When Zach arrives at the warehouse alone, he eyes the woman who has shown in show flashbacks to be his mother. She still looks exactly how she did when she supposedly died a few decades ago when Zach was 5 years old. The story behind this woman remains to be seen, but it just adds to the confusion and strangeness of this whole storyline.

Speaking of strange, we have Babe holed up in a basement room of the Pine Valley casino that interestingly has been designed to look exactly like a room at Pine Valley Hospital.

Somehow Josh managed within a matter of hours to make the basement room look like a hospital room, complete with serious-looking medical equipment, just so Babe would be fooled. Farfetched yes, but that’s only if we’re talking about reality. Soap operas, remember, extend reality far passed the breaking point.

Anyway, we have Josh lying right and left to Babe, who thinks she’s in a hospital recovering from her attack. She has no clue that the majority of Pine Valley thinks she’s dead, or that her mother is grieving over the loss of her “Babydoll.”

Josh is lying with complete ease, telling Babe that her mother has been with her holding her hand while she slept. When Babe asks when her mother will return, he tells her she’ll be back soon. Wouldn’t you think that Babe would ask to call her mother?

And what about little Adam? Has this child been told that his mother is dead? AMC has not addressed this question, and instead is leaving this in limbo. Apparently even they won’t stoop to falsely telling a 3-year-old boy his mother is dead and never to return.

In Josh’s mind, this whole fooling Babe bit is for her protection. Apparently it’s to protect her from the killer, but also from J.R.. Why exactly does she need to be protected from J.R.? I know that he tried to kill her once, but that was ages ago. J.R. seems to be no physical threat to Babe.

This appears more than anything to be a way for Josh to keep Babe to himself. His fascination with Babe is approaching the point of becoming creepy and stalkerish. What does he think Babe is going to do when she learns he has been lying to her? She’ll blast Josh to kingdom come when she learns that he led her mother to believe she was dead.

That leads us to the doctors of Pine Valley Hospital. Are we to believe that Jeff and even Joe – of all people Dr. Joe – would commit so many ethical violations and let everyone think Babe is dead. It is out of Joe’s character to go along with this lie.

The writers had to throw in that line from Krystal about how she wanted Babe’s funeral to be closed casket. Of course – there was no body in the casket. But wouldn’t it stand to reason that Krystal would have looked at Babe in the casket before the funeral started?

Speaking of that funeral, why have it outside in the middle of February in a northern state? Are there no churches in Pine Valley?

While we are on the topic of ridiculous things in Pine Valley, there’s one more unrelated thing that’s been bugging me.

When exactly did Wildwind become a boarding house and how is it that Julia gets to decide who lives there. Julia doesn’t own the house. With the addition of Annie and Emma last week, the place is becoming a regular hotel.

The opinions in these articles are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The TV MegaSite or its other volunteers.

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Updated 6/9/10

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