All My Children Rant #6 From The TV MegaSite

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Rant #6
By Kariyaki

Sorry, this took so long to get out.  It’s a long story involving my kitchen plumbing, a flood and my incredibly stupid upstairs neighbors.  Don’t ask.

Vanessa goes on a tirade at that engagement party.  She singles out the people there and embarrasses them (Palmer), scares them (Jamie) or just plain insults them (everybody else).  Finally, in a terribly and clumsily choreographed move, Trey manages to grab her and put and end to the ramblings. 

Meanwhile, outside the dining hall, Kendall and Ryan (who’ve kissed and made up—metaphorically anyway.  The literal sense is sure to come later) are all worried about Erica and Stamp who are inside.  Ryan tries to do something.  I can’t figure out what he was trying to accomplish.  Kendall spends her time comforting a frantic Myrtle, who appreciates the young woman’s efforts.  Ha!  Yet another Pine Valley citizen has succumbed to Kendall’s charms.  Who’s next, Opal?  When Erica and Stamp finally emerge from the fray, Kendall and Ryan spend their time pretending they weren’t worried sick.  Kendall manages to choke out the word “mother” in Erica’s presence, while Erica is surprised to learn from Myrtle how comforting Kendall was to her.  Erica, surprised, asks, “You were worried about me?”  Kendall:  “Ah, who’d believe it?” 

More pissing contests:  Tad and Edmund again over Jamie.  Leo and Trey over Greenlee.  Trey managed to step in and hug Greenlee before she could get to Leo’s outstretched arms. 

Speaking of Jamie, what is with this trauma story?  He gets hugged by a crazy lady, then witnesses her hold a knife to somebody else’s throat and now he’s all struck silent by this.  Colby’s got more balls than him.  Her mother goes into the hospital and comes out with a scary bandage on her head and can barely talk.  Meanwhile, she’s stuck with her stodgy father, an aunt she barely knows and the housekeeper and she takes it all in stride.  Jamie needs to take coping lessons from her. 

Well, Kendall and Ryan had the S-E-X.  I don’t know what else to say about it.  It was two days worth of bedroom scenes between the two, most of which were pretty fun and some were quite illuminating, character-wise.  I have to say, I like the whole naked video game scene the best.  There’s an idea! 

So Trey is behind all the Vanessa-gaslighting.  Quelle surprise.  Not.  It was pretty obvious they were setting this guy up to be Mr. Shady, so I don’t know who they thought they were surprising.  All this plotting and scheming is getting irritating to watch without any motivation for the character yet.  They need to give us some soon. 

And of course, just when Erica is considering calling off her vendetta against Kendall, along comes this Bianca crisis with Kendall as the “evil” enabler.  Kendall gives Bianca a couple of bottles of champagne.  So?  People give booze to their minor siblings all the time.  It’s just so typical of Erica to blow a gasket.  I can’t believe she tried to punch her over it, though.  Get a grip, Erica. 


Dare I say it?  Kendall’s outfits have looked halfway decent lately.  Not the greatest ensembles ever put together, but at least they didn’t make my eyes vomit blood.  Ryan’s brown-with-ugly-stripes sweater pretty much did me in.  Ick.

The opinions in these articles are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The TV MegaSite or its other volunteers.

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Updated 9/28/10

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