Well, Erica and Stamp are “reunited and it feels
so gooooood!” Maybe to them, but for me, I still find them boring.
Erica needs someone she can throw a vase at. Granted, with Stamp in
the wheelchair, he’s at vantage point that would make him difficult
for teeny Erica to miss, but he just doesn’t provoke that response in
Meanwhile, just outside, Erica and Stamp’s kids
are exchanging bodily fluids like it’s nobody’s business. Actually,
it’s everybody’s business since Kendall and Ryan are doing so in broad
daylight on the front porch of Myrtle’s. Then inexplicably, Kendall
breaks from the kiss and takes off. When Ryan catches up to her at
her car, (and this is where I burst out laughing) Kendall’s lip gloss
(which had been previously sucked off by Ryan) has magically reapplied
itself. Hello, continuity? *waves* I know you’re there somewhere.
So then Kendall and Ryan have this perplexing conversation in the car
that I can only think is some sort of foreshadowing for Kendall.
Because she mentions “losing control and paying for it” and her past
lovers trying to change her. (But only in passing. Sorry, for those
of you hoping she’d mention what the hell happened with Del…still no
details.) At any rate, Kendall does her best to get rid of Ryan,
finally slamming Gillian, which works like a charm and he leaves in a
David, Leo and Maggie bond over food. This is a
new spin on a scene. The actors are actively chowing down here. Leo,
in one of his surprised double-takes actually snorts some food bits
out of his mouth. The food snorting was compliments of Leo being
informed that Maggie wants to be a doctor and that David married
Anna. Leo was out of the loop on both. Although, to be fair, David
only just found out about Maggie’s doctor thing ten minutes before.
Kendall starts her job at Enchantment. Erica
gives her full access to everything except her file cabinet which is
for Erica’s eyes only. Naturally, Kendall can’t concentrate until she
breaks into it. Which is put on hold with the arrival of Bianca, who
helps Kendall out when she gets swamped. I looooooove the
Kendall/Bianca scenes. The actresses just execute them so well. And
even better is the fact that Erica hates it.
So then we have the obligatory
female-bonding-over-food scene. Wow, what a clichéd scene. Always
fun, though. This time, our participants were Greenlee and Simone.
Simone gives me a disturbing visual by talking about Mateo’s great
buns. Greenlee makes me laugh when she’s lamenting about being thrown
over for Erica Kane’s evil spawn. Simone: “Bianca?” Greenlee: “No,
the straight one. Kendall.” Hee!
Enchantment scenes. Here we go with the
“Gulliver’s Travels” again. I didn’t notice the height differences as
much this time because the scenes between the three cattiest women in
Pine Valley was just that damn entertaining. Greenlee rats out
Kendall for snooping in Erica’s Secret File Cabinet. Erica surprises
them both by chastising Greenlee for being a tattletale and telling
Kendall to watch her back and not get caught next time. Greenlee gets
in a good dig at Kendall by calling her “ringlet trailer trash.” *snerk*
The scene concludes with the three of them working silently with the
fakest insincere smiles on their faces and plotting against each
other. Which we can hear courtesy of inner monologues.
I still don’t know where they’re going with Mia.
On one hand, it looks as though she may develop an unhealthy
attachment to Colby. On another, it seems like the father of her
given-up-for-adoption son is traipsing around Pine Valley. Some
people assume it’s Trey, some think it’s someone on that list of
interns Mia saw a couple of weeks ago. It’s still a fledgling story,
but they need to hurry up and flesh it out, before it becomes
uninteresting. Oop, too late.
I would love to talk about Leo and
Greenlee. No, really. I would. But that story has draaaaaaaagged
for so long (ditto Proteus) that I have lost the will to care.
I don’t remember them doing anything with the
front part of Liza’s brain during the operation. So, did she fall
from the bed with no guard rails or something? Because she looks as
though she got punched in the face. This amnesia thing confuses me.
She doesn’t remember Adam (her shrinking from him in fear was funny),
but she remembers Colby? Sigh. Whatever.
More stuff I don’t get: Tad and Edmund in a
pissing contest over Jamie. Jamie being so mortified about Vanessa.
Sure, she scared the bejesus out of him, but it’s not like Vanessa has
a history of tormenting him or something. It was just an isolated
Finally, I’d like to think I would have been
surprised that the singer at the engagement party turned out to be
Vanessa with a really large knife at Greenlee’s throat, but I
didn’t get around to watching Friday’s episode right away and I got
spoiled by others talking. I’m sure it would have caught me by
surprise. Well, maybe not.
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