All My Children Rant #13 From The TV MegaSite
 

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Rant #13
By Kariyaki
7/12/02

So, the big front-burner story that Adam and Liza are in involves lost cufflinks, imaginary pens and shredded shirts? I bet the actors were really drooling over THAT one.

We're going to have to call the action of doing something really stupid and potentially ruining your whole life "pulling a Kendall" because she does that kind of thing too often to not name it. So Ryan saw her stripping for Aidan and took off on her. After all the things she's done and he's forgiven her for, I guess this is the straw that broke the camel's back. So then we're treated to an entire episode of Kendall crying and feeling sorry for herself. Normally, that kind of thing makes me cringe, but Alicia Minshew is a fantastic crier. Horrific, heart-wrenching sobs. Very well done.

Maria made an appearance again this week. For a total of one minute, three seconds. I know because I timed it. So, with approximately 215 minutes of air time a week, THIS is all we get?

Well, Tim's back. And apparently under heavy doses of speed. Are they trying to make him just like Trevor? Because that's what he's acting like. I hope they remember that Trevor isn't ACTUALLY Tim's father, therefore he's not too likely to behave that much like him.

I don't understand Erica's moral dilemma. She knows something that would establish reasonable doubt in Kendall's case, meaning she is legally obligated to step forward and tell. If she didn't, Kendall went to jail and it was found out later that she knew this bit of information and sat on it, she could be prosecuted. But noooo, she DOES tell and everybody bows down to kiss her feet at being so generous. Only Kendall is ticked at her about it and I think she's the only one who's having the logical emotional response.

Then there's the Greenlee/Leo wedding. A big, huge disaster. Was there ever any doubt? Leo deduces that Guy is NOT his father because Guy and Vanessa have blue eyes and Leo has brown. Wolfe makes me want to shoot him by spending EVERY SINGLE SCENE threatening Vanessa redundantly. Thankfully, Anna takes care of him for me. I wanted to throw her a parade after she plugged him. Unfortunately for Roger, Anna didn't get to him sooner. Ol' Roger ate hot lead. So long, Roger! At least I won't have to be subjected to scenes of him and Simone anymore.

Clothes: Oh my, there were many atrocities in the name of Fashion these past couple of weeks. First off:

Adam: Blue, pinstripe suit with a grid-patterned shirt and a paisley-print tie. A world of no. This could be the reason your shirt got shredded, Adam, assuming you didn't do it yourself (although we ALL know he did).

Trey: Wore a really blue tie to the trial. It looked like Pelt of Smurf. Really, guys, how hard is it to match your ensemble when all you wear is suits? That's like the easiest clothing ever.

Maggie: Wore a TUBE top. Really. I haven't seen that type of outfit in twenty years and there's a REASON for that. It's hideous and tacky.

Erica: A dark yellow pants suit that attached at one shoulder. She looked like a half-peeled banana. I felt like sticking a Dole sticker on her somewhere.

Greenlee: Her wedding dress didn't seem to fit right. It looked bunchy in places and that single strap just didn't belong.

Kendall: *pops knuckles in preparation for lots of typing* The lingerie looked good on her, but since half the town saw her in it, I'll have to deduct a few points. Her black clothing for the week had potential, but unfortunately, there were little accessories that ruined them. Her outfit that she wore when she got dumped had some odd, pink, embroidery thing on it. Her black dress she wore to court had one white sleeve. And finally, her very shiny red shirt. Lucky for her, that was also the day for Maggie's retro '80s look and Erica's banana outfit, so she was not the worst-dressed for once.

The opinions in these articles are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The TV MegaSite or its other volunteers.

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Updated 9/28/10

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